Guilt of cheating?

So i have been seeing a guy for about 3 months. We started out as friends but we became more and more serious and we arrived at the point where we were exclusive although we never titled our relationship. I attend college and I hadn't been home for about a year. When I went home, I hung out with two of my friends. One of the friends I had had a brief romance with about 2 years ago. He knew about my relationship with the guy at college. One night me and the other 2 friends watched a movie at his apartment. I went into his room and laid down because I was tired and was pretty sick, but I put my feet where my head should be. Later on in the night I guess he came in and laid down on the same bed, facing the opposite way but I didn't think much of it because we were friends and he laid the opposite way. During the night, he started touching my leg and pulling at my leg, I was confused about the situation at first because I was asleep kind of out of it. But I feel so guilty because I didn't initially stop it and the situation allowed past feelings to surface for that brief moment. The next day, I was still kind of confused about the situation. I confronted the friend and told him how inappropriate it was for him to touch me without asking and how I felt uncomfortable continuing my friendship with him. I then called the boy I'm seeing at college and told him, and he was upset but said it was fine and that he appreciated my honesty. I have so much guilt around the fact that I could have possibly hurt this guy. I like him so much and value my relationship with him so much, but I don't know if I can continue with him with all this guilt. I need advice, do you think I should forgive myself?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "During the night, he started touching my leg and pulling at my leg, I was confused about the situation at first because I was asleep kind of out of it. But I feel so guilty because I didn't initially stop it and the situation allowed past feelings to surface for that brief moment."

    ... Bullshit. If someone is caressing my fucking leg while I was trying to sleep my reaction would be to drop kick them. You weren't sedated on heavy drugs.. you were sleeping.

    Key words that I noted..
    "because I didn't initially stop it and the situation allowed past feelings to surface for that brief moment."

    You liked it and allowed it to happen. That's why you feel guilty enough to post this question. You're feeding us the same bullshit story you fed your boyfriend.

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    • I know, thats what I said. But I still feel slightly taken advantage of because had been sleeping and I was pretty sick. I obviously broke up my friendship with him. But what you are saying is I cannot forgive myself.

    • " But I still feel slightly taken advantage"

      Just lmao. No dude. I'm not your oblivious boyfriend. You're aren't going to wiggle yourself into a matter of rationalizing your actions by playing the victim card. I don't feel bad for you. "I was pretty sick" Just stop lol.. You can do whatever the fuck you want but I think you should take responsibility for your actions instead of acting like a child about it. You're nothing but another dumb slut to me if we're speaking honestly here. That's not me arbitrarily name-calling you.. every part of that is based on what you've presented to me on this question and opinion.

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What Guys Said 6

  • So did you have sex or not?

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    • we did not have sex

    • Ok, you did not cheat, but this is why you do not have opposite sex best friends or hang out like that with opposite sex friends.

  • You handled this appropriately and you did not cheat. If you were my girl I'd be proud of how you responded to it. It's probably best to stay out of this ex's apartment/bed in the future.

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    • I obviously ended my friendship with him. I just don't want this hanging over my new relationship. The guy that I'm with now's ex cheated on him multiply times so now I feel like I'm categorizing myself as her.

  • it pays to be honest in any relationship

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    • Thats why I said something about it. I just dont want this hanging over our relationship

  • I think you handled it pretty well. And your boyfriend forgave you, so why not forgive yourself?

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    • Its so hard because I like my boyfriend so much and I think he's such a good guy. I feel like in this situation I don't deserve him.

    • Well that might be kind of true in this case but you have to get past it.

  • relationships are built on honesty and trust be truthful

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  • You should not have been in his bed

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    • I acknowledge that. I feel guilty about that. But I wanted to sleep and I was pretty sick and there was nowhere else to lay but the floor. However, I guess I cannot make excuses, I just feel slightly taken advantage of.

    • It's not like anything that bad really happened I wouldn't worry about it too much I would forgive my girlfriend for that

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