My mom and dad fight all the time and don't see eye to eye. There is no relationship anymore and it breaks my heart to watch. My mom is clinically depressed and my dad is an alcoholic which are the roots of their dysfunctions. I am 21 and this has been going on constantly since I was in my teens. The reason they won't divorce is because they can't afford it. It effects me everyday and is the biggest reason as to why I don't want a relationship because I don't want to end up like my parents. When a guy asks me I can never give them the real reason because its so hard to talk about. Even when everything else in life is going good my parents relationship ruins my life and i don't know how to cope. Have any of you ever dealt with a situation like this? My mom isn't talking to me right now because I don't agree with her on everything she has said and done to my dad and I'm hurting.
Most Helpful Guy
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I know it's hard to go through that, my parents split when I was in 2nd grade, but I remembered it very well, and for the longest time, I hated my mom and was very scared of commitments in my early relationships. I would always find reasons to breakup, no matter how small the reason, I would find one. You have to find ways of staying busy and getting yourself out of the house. I know it's not what you want to hear, but that's the best thing for you. We all look to our parents as role models growing up, what they do for work, we tend to want to become, when they finish college, we are more likely to do the same, when they fight and get divorced, we are more likely to follow suit, bc that has Become our standard.2
Most Helpful Girl
Yes. And it was hell for 24 years of my life. Overall your parents need's counseling and learn how to love each other. They don't know how. I understand what your saying and you reasons are valid. However, I don't believe divorce is the answer for them. Your father, however, needs to go to rehab and your mom basically needs marriage counseling along with your father. They do not understand the basics of marriage and what it takes to have one. It is not your job to cope. You just find a way to move on with life until you have enough money to get out of the house. But it is best to not engage with their marriage. If they don't want to divorce. Good. Then they need to start learning to be a married couple. But do please understand that arguments are normal and healthy in a marriage relationship. But what's not normal is the cursing, belittling and the abuse that comes with it.
Maybe you can start by seitting them both down and get to the heart of their argument problems. The more you force them to talk and ask critical questions, I find that it helps bridge the miscommunicatin gap. However his drinking problem must stop. It's not helpping your mother with her depression, and she just needs to stop yelling, screaming and fighting with your father and learn to listen and have patience with him. Personaly, she needs to just call your grandparents and stay there with them for a while without him knowing. And when he calls back, she needs to tell him that until he starts treating her like a wife and stop with the drinking she will not return home. And I suggest you find a way to go with her and make it college if your still in school.0