Saw my ex on tinder and now feel awful. Why should this bother me?

Background: girlfriend of 5 months broke up with me saying she wanted space/confused about her feelings for me in October. I have gone LC (we work in the same office, different departments) and have only been polite/friendly if I see her at work. She has tried a few times to reach out, first as trying to be "friends" and then she tried playing some sort of game through some crpytic texting (which I bit and decided what was the harm).

She still checks my social media and tries to tag me in photos, etc.

Reason why I am posting:
After all of the crap I have endured the past few months I have mostly focused on myself and getting better. I have lost weight, had a busy social calendar, etc.

Last night I was bored and couldn't fall asleep so I decided to boot up my tinder app. And I notice one of the girls is kinda cute, I didn't realize until the third picture that it was actually my ex (she used older pics which is why I didn't notice her at first).

I had a rush of anxiety when I realized this and quickly swiped left since I am not interested in her anymore (especially after the way she has handled things post-breakup).

But my question is, why did I let this get to me? It's just tinder? And more importantly, I should be happy she is going on a site like that so she stops keeping tabs on me. And selfishly hoping she does meet some guy on there because she will face the harsh reality of most guys on that app are just trying to get laid. And I know I am saying this even though I have the app, I have since deleted it since I have literally had 0 luck with it.

So like I said, why am I letting this get to me so much? Does this mean I am not over her?


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • she was probably tryin to let you down easy without straight up tellin you she's just not into you like that. I think she still wants to keep in touch on a friend level as to her tagging yoy in stuff still. as for you seein her on there and it bothering you.. either you still have feelings for her , or it makes you feel some type bc of how she broke it off with you.. sayin she was confused and wanted space but yet still lookin around on tinder. thats probably subconsciously why it bothered you seein her.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I was in the same shoes. My girlfriend and I broke up almost 3 months a go. Only difference being is I still have feelings for her. When I saw her on tinder I felt the exact same way and wish she would face the reality of most guys just wanting to hook up. Funny things is when we last talked she brought up that she saw me on the site.

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    • The more i have thought about it, chances are she knows what she's getting into and is enjoying it. Really, we can't think of it that way. All we can do is just continue working on moving on and eventually finding that next person that will make us happy and hopefully happier than our ex ever did.

    • Completely agree. It definitly hurt when I saw it but taking everything a day at a time and focusing on myself.

  • Why should it bother you? Why were you on Tinder? She was probably on their for the same reason you were...

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    • I joined it a few months back but never really used it. Like I said I was bored and couldn't fall asleep so I figured why not.

      Again I'm not sure why I let it bother me but it did. Really in the end, it's tinder and nothing usually comes out of it.

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