Looking back at your failed relationships, what red flags do you think did you missed that were indicators why the relationship failed?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First boyfriend: he was insecure and ended up lying about important things at the beginning of the relationship. I forgave him thinking he just made a mistake. He lied to me again and cheated on me.
    Second boyfriend: we didn't have much in common and were too different. We thought "opposites attract", and it was true... but attraction is not enough to keep a healthy relationship in the long term.
    Third boyfriend: too egocentric, everything was about him. He had a lot of virtues and I thought he would change with time... He would take me more into consideration, but he kept being selfish.
    Fourth boyfriend: he was too emotionally attached from the very beginning and complained about me not dedicating him enough time... I ended up spending more time with him and stop dedicating time to my own things (studies, etc.). Once he got used to my constant presence, he left me.

    Basically, I had a poor taste on men. I didn't really know what I was looking for in a man, so I dated a lot of people just to find out what I wanted. And I always thought "they will change". I also got into those relationships too fast without properly knowing them. In my personal case, I would say that the red flags with me was my insecurity which also made me more dramatic and jealous.

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    • 1st bf: Lied about what?

    • Several things. For example, he said he was studying at uni to become an engineer. He was actually working as a waiter. He also lied about not having feelings for his ex girlfriend... He did. In fact, he was obsessed with her.

    • Ahh... what a jerk.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm definitely when there was a cock inside my first girlfriends pussy that wasn't mine... maybe red flag? can't be sure though.

    When she becomes annoyed with everything you do (not just one week a month) and edgy.
    When she disrespects you.
    When she plays games
    When she ignores
    When she hides her phone all sneaky like... even when you are not caring.

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    • you mean when she is not a virgin?

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    • Alright. I was just curious about your experience. thanks for sharing. :)

What Girls Said 15

  • 1) He never got excited about the things I got excited or showed interest in while i always tried to pick up his hobbies so we can do things he like together

    2) He constantly forget our dates or plans and make plans with his bros on those dates/tkme slots

    3) He told me he sometimes wishes i was a nicer person like his ex girlfriend when it comes to friendships (i ended my friendship with a common friend after her lies, i was right, and he defended her)

    4) Towards the end of the relationship, only having sex if he wanted to stick his penis into me, never accepts if i initiated, telling me he is tired.

    It was my first relationship. I was blinded by love.

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  • Lumping all my relationships together
    -he pushed for sex and sexual activities beyond when he saw I was comfortable
    -he lied to me from basically day 1
    -I was never really into him
    -We'd argue and almost break up almost every week

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  • 1. He said he didn't want a relationship cause he just broke up with a girl. I knew it was a lie cause he didn't like her, never thought he said it because he wasn't interested. Ended up talking on/off for 1 year with no progress to a relationship.

    2. Posted on a guy that I was dating Facebook wall, he subbed a status that I couldn't tell if it was about me or not saying something like get off my page... Come to find out he had a girlfriend. He seemed to really like me because he told the girl about me

    3. Gave me eye contact smiles and stares for month. Every time I'd try to talk to him it would never work out. Thinking back seems he was using me as an ego boost. He was the reason we could never express feelings, because he'd cut the conversation short.

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  • nice, um not asking about how there parents were first, a guy had parents who let him do whatever and hardly bothered him so my normal wanting to be more attached to him came off as clingy. Noticing them getting very angry when denied sex.

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  • Don't start playing with other peoples feelings just bc your partner hurt yours

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  • My boyfriend in the beginning pretended to hit me like its a joke. It has now escalated into real physical abuse. Next time it will be a sure fire flag to gtfo

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  • He pushed And pushed too fast too much And i though thag was okay (idiot) cause You have to make compromises, yeah right i was a dumbass

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  • Red flags: being narcisstic and only think about your own needs, moody and only happy when being spoiled, only takes but never gives, making false promises...

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  • He used my belongings and did not replace it if he messed it up.
    He made me pay for him and his friend one time.
    He paid more attention to his "friend" than he did me.

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  • 1. Did not make me a priority as we got more serious (work, family, friends, then me) I get work and family being at the top but when you start valuing friends and co-workers over me there is a problem.
    2. I was always commuting to his town or place and he always had an excuse as to why he didn't want to visit me or come up my way. We lived like 40 min apart
    3. Lack of planning or initiation of plans. he would always do what I wanted to do a. k. a I had to plan everything. At the beginning it was great bc he would plan fun things but as we were more serious he just stopped planning. He would always say what do you want to do.

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    • My last relationship in a nutshell.

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    • A carton of juice? What on earth. Was it a joke gift? Not kidding, the same thing happened to me as well. My ex wasn't a huge gift giver either (i'm the opposite, I love getting gifts and spoiling people) but I accepted it. He gave me nothing except a birthday card, and we were together for six months. I wasn't expecting anything expensive, but still. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk anymore

    • @eyeslikefire
      It was a special kind of juice that is hard to find in the US it was thoughtful that he remembered I liked that juice but to give it unwrapped as a X-mas gift was surprising. If both the juice and picture came with tickets, night out, or he was going to take me to out to a restaurant then it would be different and would have made it better.

  • 1. He didn't value communication 2. He wanted to keep the relationship a secret.
    3. He seemed to only care about sex
    4. Always to busy for me.

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  • it failed because he cheated on me - i am not a jealous type it seems i must be one as he cheated with his girl friend - guys says it is just a friend but it results different

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    • Where there any signs before that he is a cheater?

    • yeah, when we were in different cities for summer holiday, he didn't call me or text me much

  • 1. He never seemed to really respect my feelings
    2. It was always about him, not us
    3. He was selfish in bed

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  • 1. Don't give them a second chance.
    2. Don't date anyone who isn't on the same page.
    3. Don't be a doormat.

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  • Red flag ~ his cock was in someone else's pussy... then another... and another etc

    Punishing me because I wouldn't give him any I WAS FUCKING 15!!! Had no interest in sex and was a complete fool for forgiving him thinking he'd change he was nuts and use to batter me black and blue once I got away from him he went running around telling people I was pregnant

    Is that enough red flags? I'm sorry I'm not trying to be nippy or snide or even nasty

    I'm now happily engaged to a man who treats me right and I him

    The ex from what I here is in and out of jail and I could care less

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What Guys Said 4

  • I had much prior warning, some of which I only noticed yesterday (broke up November).
    She asked me one time if I think we would last.
    I told her yes, that I love her, and as long as we work on getting past our little "bumps" in the relationship, we would continue long afterwards.
    The ironic thing is she advised my friends to put in work in their relationships, but didn't do that for us.
    She gave up on us, contrary to what she said to others.
    When she asked if I think we would last, I should have realised she isn't ready for long-term. It would have saved so much pain, but I learned a lot so I'm happy still.

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    • If you don't mind me asking: What little "bumps" did you got, and why is is your girlfriend asking whether you guys "would last" a red fleag?

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    • Thanks for sharing, bro! :)

    • No problem!:)

  • She had an adam's apple...
    Jokes aside, the main two were different sex drives, different stages in life.
    And when I was a lot younger, I was guilty of projecting what I wanted to see in them, instead of recognizing what was in front of me and treating it as it deserved

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  • At 16 you are not ready for marriage.

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  • Stuck around in spite of significant sex drive differences. They end up being toxic and making everything else bad as well.

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    • Your girlfriend got more sex drive or you?

    • Me. A couple of relationships. Should have left within a month or so. It just made us Borge miserable eventually.

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