Why is this break up so hard on me?

Usually when i have a break up with a guy I'm usually sad about it for a month tops and start dating again even if it was a long term relationship. This last guy i can't get over. We dated 2 years, had a great relationship, but it was his commitment issues that ended it (i assume, since we had a fight about moving in together etc. earlier that day). Its been 2 and a half months and i haven't heard from him since early November. I still love him so much. I've had longer relationships where i was engaged and it didn't take me this long to get over it. The pain of this has changed me for the worse. I can't sleep, concentrate at work etc. I dont know what to do or think. i can't pull myself out of this funk. I recently heard from his friend that he does regret breaking up. But if thats the case, why not contact me? he's still single too from what his friend says.
I tried going on a date recently and i had to cut it short... and i went to my car and cried. I feel pathetic. I still love him and feel so strongly connected to him. I tried contacting him earlier this month no response... it had been a month since I tried. I can't take this pain... im in therapy, but i dont think it helps much... 😔


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Most Helpful Girl

  • if it's real, it just sticks. time confirms the true feelings.
    all i know is life is short, all i can do is make the most of it and fight for what we want even if it blows up in my face, but at least i know instead of being stuck in an emotional what if limbo. and from experience guys usually need more time to feel the effects of a breakup before acting on it (for example: reaching back out to the girl). good luck! i think you are in love and it's a great milestone in life to experience!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Because you valued what you had with him and he did not. It takes a lot out of a person to put themselves out there and trust someone so much only to have this happen. Please continue seeing your therapist, you need to get better. I would not suggest going out and meet guys right away but over time it would not hurt to at least see what is out there.

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  • It's your first real break up and you need cats.

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    • its not my 1st real breakup... I've gone through others. plus i already have a cat lol

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm the same with my ex. Sometimes you just meet people who touch your heart/soul in a crazy spiritual way, and it follows you everywhere.
    Honestly if you want to move on live a healthy life. That helped me - passion, friendship, joy, pursue those things.
    If you can't stop, then you can wait and try to contact him or do something about it, but he has to feel the same. My ex who I had the connection with will always feel the same love for me, if he didn't I would never talk to him. We ran into each other at a party recently and it was the same after 2 years no contact.

    Start by accepting that he wasn't a normal breakup. Don't deny your feelings or try to replace them, just accept them and heal.

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