Story below but was I right to tell him to stay away and build a new life elsewhere?

Updates:
My ex got into hard drugs really bad and I ended up calling the police because he was in my home being abusive and would not leave. He was arrested. He was arrested a d I did not see him for six months after that. He got rehabilitated, found God, came back to town, apologized to me and tried to make amends with everyone he had wronged. The thing is, although I can forgive him, I still don't want him in my life, or hanging around, and neither does anyone else who knows him, even his own family.
No one really wanted to see him, talk to him, feed him, or even give him a place to sleep when he was here. That's how badly he has burned all of us. I know that drug use can damage someone's mind to the point where they can't think the way they used to but he is completely oblivious to the fact he needs to stay away. I don't want to discourage his recovery but I don't want him thinking he can hang around here for us to enable either.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • you know the chances are high that he's not the person he used to be before, i know what he done to all of you was really bad, but everyone deserves a second chance.
    but still you can do what you feel is right
    to me it sounds like that guy has really changed and he's a really nice person now

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    • I think he is nice now too but it is going to take more time and more than an apology for some of these people to accept him again. He needs to let more time pass and earn trust and he does not understand this yet.

    • yes you are right
      actions speaks more louder than words

    • Thanks for the MHO gorgeous !!!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Drugs can really change one's behaviour without him really meaning to. Still, if you don't want him in your life you have the right to say so. So yeah, I think you did the right think.

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    • Thank you♡ Do you feel it was fair when I noticed that everyone else seemed to be rejecting him too that I told him he should stay out of town? He lives about 45 mins drive away.

    • Yeah, he'd figure it out sooner or later but this way I think he realized it quickly. I think you did the right thing

What Guys Said 4

  • I think so. I think that would be good for his recovery as well. he's made his amends and apologies. Now it's time to start over somewhere else so he doesn't know any dealers or anyone else who can help him in the way he used to be.

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  • 1st im 47 as well fun chatting with you so we all have our skelotons and youmcome to a point were if its so toxic you can't make am, ends you can forgive for sure but if conti ues to be around tell him just as you did and say it you moved on and it s none of his buisness and there is spme one out there for you its finding him or her iwas checking out your pic preaty lady your really have a lot of questions ile answer

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    • He's in a program where he's getting help a few towns away in another county with better medical and spiritual resources. He's getting everything he needs and so I'm being tough with him and reminding him how mean and cold everyone is here and how he needs to stay there. I hope he listens.

  • you can wish people well down their life path, and just not want them in your life.

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  • your choice

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's your right to decide who you have in your life - whatever your reasons you are justified

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    • Do you feel my advice was solid that I told the guy he should stay out of town as well. I could tell no one wanted anything to do with him and he ddidn't get it.

    • It's probably a good idea he has a fresh start but it's up to him whether he takes your advice

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