Is a good or bad idea to go visit my ex's parents?

I had a 5 year relationship but we ended it because things didn't work out and we both had a mutual agreement kind of.. about breaking up. I do not have any feelings for her whatsoever but her parents never likes me because they thought that I wasn't enough for their daughter so they were nagging to her for 5 years. I think it was cause they are very strict.

Its been 2.5 years since we broke up and I am a better person today than i was 3 4 and 5 years ago when i was in the relationship. All I want to do is go visit her parents and show them that I am good enough for anyone and that Im not so bad after all. In no way, shape or form am I trying to get back to her. I just want to show who I am to her parents without her being at the house.

Good or bad idea?

Updates:
Wow! Thank you for all your comments they are all great and very very helpful! And you are all right. It is a bad idea so I'm not gonna do that and I'm just gonna move on like you all said!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Bad idea. That chapter is closed. Move on. You shouldn't need to prove to her, her parents or anyone that you are sufficient. I was in kind of a similar situation with my ex. His parents hated me because I wasn't the rich, preppy white girl that they expected their son to date. The result of that was about 3 years of trying day in and day out to win their approval, only to have them slander me, slander my family, exclude me from the family, and treat me like shit. After him and I broke up I cleaned up my act and started kicking complete ass at everything. I was killing it at school and work and I was feeling really good for once. I always secretly hoped that I would run into my ex's parents so that I could give them a piece of my mind or rub my success In their faces... and I would always get upset that I never did get the chance. But then I stopped caring. They are no longer a part of my life, and even taking the time to consider what they think about me would only demonstrate that I have not yet moved on from my past. You don't want people thinking that you haven't gotten over this girl, do you? I mean just imagine it. Imagine if you took the time out of your busy day to go drive past your ex's house. You didn't actually stop by to say anything. You just casually passed through, but right as you drove past you rolled down the windows and yelled "Look at me! Am I good enough now? I'm not so bad!" Well... it sounds silly right? But that's exactly what you'd be doing if you stopped by, uninvited to basically announce the same thing. If they didn't like you to begin with, chances are they probably won't be too thrilled to see you, and they may not say it to your face, but you'd just be embarrassing yourself. Let it go. You're seeking validation from people who don't matter, cuz at the end of the day, they don't pay your bills, do they? Godspeed friend

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    • Wow! You couldnt have said it better! Thank you!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Since you said you are not going to try to get her back what difference does it makes what her parents think of you these days? It has been 2.5 years since your relationship ended with her so let all of it go. It is a waste of your time and theirs to go see them. Move on with your life.

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What Girls Said 18

  • I don't think it's a good idea. Who cares what these people think? I know it bugged you, but honestly it sounds to me like in their eyes, you were never good enough for their daughter.

    Showing up at their house is only reinforcing the need for their approval, as if you weren't good enough before. You were, her parents were just jerks.

    Move on, don't go visit her parents. It's only going to give them more reason to think there is something wrong with you.

    People who don't like you aren't worth your time :)

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  • Why do you need to do that? If you think you're better, then leave it be and prove you are by NOT submitting to them. You don't owe them anything except what you did 5 years ago by dumping their daughter mutually. Her parents were not the issue. It was her. If she can't learn to think about how she is carrying on with you, then that's on her. Her parents may or may not have solid reasons as to why you weren't good enough for her. You're not over your past, so please stop being immature and come to grips with reality.

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  • Bad idea. You don't need to prove anything to them. An exes parents would be the last people I'd feel I needed to impress. I'd never feel I needed to prove myself worthy in their eyes.. or anyone else's.

    . I can't understand why their view of you is of such importance. . Life is meant to be travelled forwards, not backwards. So I believe in moving on from the past

    Some people's opinion of you will never change, so even if you told them how you've changed that doesn't necessarily mean they'll change their opinion of you, and start liking you. Some people will always judge you by the person you " used" to be , the person you were when they knew you. Not the person you've become..

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  • Bad idea. Let it go man, they don't care to give you the time of day. They clearly weren't open-minded to giving you a chance then and that isn't going to change now - their minds are set about you.
    And from your side, that's just obsessive. It's been over 2 years, everyone has moved on. This is so unnecessary.

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  • Don't do it. What's the point if you're not planning to get back with her? Why does their opinion matter so much? Anyways, they thought you weren't good enough when you were actually dating her. The fact you admitted you got better kinda proves them right.

    It's been years. Let it go

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  • Bad idea. Past is past, ink is dry, you do not need to prove anything to anyone if you're totally happy with yourself. People will think whatever they wanna think about you. Just one visit won't change their long-time opinion in a second.

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  • that means you're not over your past if you want to stay in contact with her parents or her. i don't think its a good idea.. if you really wanted to move on , being a better person means forgetting and forgiving

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  • no point.. some people just have a mind set about people.. they don't want to give that person a chance.. plus you guys are broken up, i just think it would be random and weird.

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  • If you like the parents and you were friendly with them I don't see why not? But if your trying to put on a act and prove that you have changed I wouldn't scoop that low. No one changes you might become happier so what? But your actions will never change its all fake. Don't prove yourself to anyone, you would become happier but your actions will circle so really if you done bad u can't change that

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  • hinnestly, not the best idea... i know its tempting but leave the past in the past and keep moving forward and focus on yourself.. if you want to date maybe meet new girls.. but honnestly, the past belongs in the past

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  • Yes it is. Who you are right now isn t something for them to decide. It s up to you and sometimes even moving on might be the best way to show how much you have changed.

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  • Do you know what I think? I think all you're doing is, actually, trying to get back to her, and making her parents like you is an indirect way to do so. Otherwise, why would you want them to like you? Why on Earth would you care?
    Maybe you aren't aware of that yourself, but it's your subconcious, your subconcious desire that work here

    Try not to lie to yourself.
    If you want to get back to her, do it. Go for it. Make them love you
    Remind her that, maybe, she still does

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  • Bad idea. You are looking for validation from people who hate you. Why would you lower yourself like that? Be a man. You don't need their approval. Be strong in yourself. If you go there you're just asking for rejection.

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  • But then you know they will tell her. Don't do it, its selfish. Let your ex just move on. Not a good move dude

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  • Semi good. I think you should prove it to her first and her parents second. You want to become part of the family but show them you can take care of her. That's how you can get on good terms.

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  • It is a bad idea.

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  • Always a bad idea

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  • Here is a better idea...

    Now that you are a better person, go meet the right girl. Her parents will like you and you two will fall in love want move on to get marry or whatever it is you two want.

    forget about the past. they didn't like you back then, they will think you are worse now... thats how they will always see you.

    the point, their opinion about you is irrirelevant for your future.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Chances are , she moved on with her life since you broke up.

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  • Forget they even existed

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  • If they never liked you, why bother? No reason to drudge up the past.

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  • Bad idea.

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