How to get over our break up and how to contact her?

I broke up with my ex two weeks ago. About 3 weeks before we broke up, we had the perfect date. It had the perfect combination of romance and friendship and made me feel that she was right for me. A few days later I left town to visit family and then I began to see her pull back from me. She didn't respond to txts or say I love you at the end of conversations and in general things felt off. When I got back we went on a date but our conversations weren't as joking She didn't thank me when I bought her movie ticket and when I kissed her goodnight she reluctantly did so. A week later, I finally ask her what is going on. She said she doesn't want a relationship into college (We are both seniors in highschool). She says other things about valuing our friendship over our relationship and that she didn't know how she felt. Essentially I felt she wanted to break up, but that she wasn't saying what was seriously wrong. I finallysaid "we should both just think things over" she responded, "no, YOU, need to think things over." For the next week I thoughtabout things with limited contact with her. During this time, I decided that I wanted to date with her with the possibility that she would break up with me before college. A week later she txted me asking if I was home. Something told me that she was going to drive over to my place and break up with me. she did. She said same things and that she was tired of hurting me (which I didn't get because she wasn't) and that shecouldn't exert more energy into us. When I went to explain my own feelings she cut me off after 10 seconds saying she had to eat dinner. IT WAS GOING TO BE 2 MINUTES! Since then, we havn't talked much and I have been avoiding eye contact. The problem is we are in the same friend group at school so we run into each other frequently. I'm honestly really pissed off at her and I don't know what do now. How/When do I contact her? More importantly, How do I stop feeling angry at her for not letting me tell my feelings?


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  • The best thing to do in your case is to either make it less awkward between the two of you (which would happen if you joke around with her a bit and show her that you don't want it to be awkward with her) or to find another group of friends altogether. Since she's your ex, you shouldn't contact her but if you really want to stop feeling angry about not telling her your feelings, you should just be straightforward with her. Just tell her that you want to talk to her in private and if she makes an excuse just remind her that you were respectful enough to listen to how she felt, and that you deserve that same respect from her. When you do get to talk to her, don't seem like you're trying to get back together with her anything, just tell her what you want to get off your chest and end it on good terms. Good luck with that and remember that when you're in college you'll surely meet someone who is right for you.

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    • Thanks!
      I'm not angry about the breakup just more frustrated with how quickly things deteriorated (especially with no big fight) and the fact that I didn't get to say anything. I'm definitely keeping my friend group so leaving is out of the question. How should I approach things so that she doesn't tense up? Also thanks for reading that sloppy story. It has horrible grammar thanks to the 2000 character limit lol.

    • Naturally she's going to be nervous considering your her ex, but you next time you bump into her you could just say "hey can we just talk about that other day for a bit in private. I still have a few things weighing on me." And if she's like "oh I'm busy" just tell her that you deserve the same respect you gave to her. Your grammar was fine, I didn't even notice it tbh.

    • Haha ok. And I'm glad you could read it fine.

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