4 Year Relationship Breakup - need advice?

My ex and I are both 21. He was my first boyfriend and first love, and I was his second relationship (he dated a girl for two years in high school). In the most recent two years, he has been craving a life that he thinks he needs to be happy. He wants to be single and travel with his friends and even though he hasn’t said it, I believe he wants to sleep with other girls because he has only ever slept with me and his ex. He feels like he is too young to be in a serious relationship and that I am holding him back from what he wants to do.

He has said this everytime he has broken up with me, which seems to be every four months. He lives wildly for about two weeks (clubbing every weekend etc.) then comes crawling back to me when he realizes it doesn’t actually make him that happy. He has recently started at a new job, where the culture there is very party orientated. Since he has started he seems to be very influenced by his colleagues, who encourage him to party hard and “live life to the max”. Since he has started, I knew it was only a matter of time before he left me again. Sure enough, three weeks ago he broke up with me, saying that his heart wasn’t in it anymore and that I was holding him back. I took it very well and told him i understood and just wanted him to be happy. When he left i broke down in tears and I have been absolutely shattered since.

I kept telling myself its just like every other time, and he will come back, but I haven't heard a word from him. I haven't tried to contact him because I know he needs space. I miss him so so much. I found out from a friend of a friend that he joined tinder the day after we broke up and has been talking to many girls on there. I found out last night that he went on a date with a girl, and took her to my favourite spot by the river. I am so devastated. I dont understand why he isn’t upset, or why he doesn’t miss me. Do you think he will still come back this time? I really want to fix things 🙁


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • first of all I am surprised that you were in a on /off relationship for quite a long time. tbh this was bound to happen. if previously he wasn't able to find other girls and now that he is dating someone, I doubt he will come back this time. unless the girl treats him like shit, he won't be coming back. you can keep hopes or call him one last time.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You need to let him go. I know you love him, but it's important for you guys to experience with other girls because they will at one point do this. Being with one person your whole life is bad because you don't really know what's out there. You need to explore too and see what you really want

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