We're not on the same page - What does it actually mean?

Ladies and Gentlemen of this site, a little input on the above phrase. Let me briefly provide my example.
Dated a woman (27) for 4 months (I'm 29) not too long ago. We met in funny circumstances, hit it off brilliantly, had a lot in common and clicked really well both emotionally and physically. Things developed, and although at the start she was hesitant on exclusive, we got there at month 3. She moved to a place an hour from me, but we kept on seeing each other every 1.5 - 3 weeks. She took time off work to come to my birthday, made a big effort, I in turn took time off to to visit her... The usual spiel when a relationship is on tracks. As at the time I hadn't moved out yet, she ended up meeting my parents (she insisted on it as long as they were happy to meet her) , and they got along brilliantly. All signs pointed in the right directions. Then she dropped the "friends with benefits" bomb out of nowhere because she didn't know what she wanted and time was moving on. We talked about it and agreed to not follow that path but carry on going and see what happens. Few days later she ends it saying we're not on the same page and that she was looking for fun.

My questions for you to bounce around are these:

- What could possibly have been going on in her head, as she clearly didn't do this relationship for fun based on her behaviour?
- By saying we're not on the same page... she more referring to me or she just not looking for a relationship in general?

- Is the whole "We're not on the same page" a cop out that girls/guys use to ease things off? Or is it at times genuine, and the door is still open in the future?


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  • Ok, "We're not on the same page", she wanted out, you were either too fast or slow, too hot or cool, too excited or laid back... You'll kill yourself trying to figure it out. Just take it as her wanting out. Anything more is a waste of synapses.

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    • In that subject, I'd agree with you, as that's the traditional explanation, apart from the fact that she was showing all right signs, and then came out with the friends with benefits bs. So can't really say it was from my end... that and she didn't want to lie to me and herself by giving something she wasn't feeling (her words).

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    • Amen to that man :... neither influencing or coercing is mature anyways... and what does it really accomplish... apart from a nice restraining order and a fall into the "get lost" zone :P. Still would be interesting to see what others say on their experience on the whole "not on the same page".

    • True enough! Carry on sir!

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