My ex was great to me at first! But then he started to be a jerk. I think it was because he realized how much he likes me. Thoughts?

-We had an amazing relationship at first! He'd come to my house and help me with maintenance, he'd hang out when he could, and we'd talk at work as usual.
-He was really into me and I made him feel extremely special. He went on vacation and FaceTimed me every day while he was gone. But suddenly he started mistreating me.
-He started acting selfish and immature. I had to end up moving out of state because I had ended up in the ER and wasn't getting better so now I'm with my parents.
-He offered to take me to the airport but he was late to pick me up, he "accidentally" let my deaf dog outside so I had to chase her down, and then he had the audacity to ask if I was gonna pay for his gas money?
-He also took an oversized jeans jacket I had and promised to give to back when he dropped me off at the airport but he didn't. When we finally made it to the airport, he just pulled up handed me my stuff, asked a bellhop to help me and drove away!!
-Later he told me he was crying as he drove off but I didn't care he was so rude to me. Why did he end things that way? I eventually stopped communicating with him because he said he didn't want to do long distance with me. Please tell me why he did what he did 😞.


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  • people cope with emotion differently. It sounds like once he realized that he was going to Lose you he tried to distance himself from you so it was easier. Now some of the things he did were just unacceptable and regardless of the fact that he needs to realize that just because he hurt doesn't mean you treat people like shit.

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    • I had thought that but I didn't think he'd be rude if that were the case... I know he definitely cared for me, that's why it was so confusing. He still likes so of my things on social media too, even though I blew him off because of how he was acting.

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  • The dog thing really got to me. I would be really mad if someone accidently left my dog outside where my dog could get hurt. I don't play with people putting my dogs life on the risk.

    Anyways, first I would wonder if something bad happened to him, either in his personal life, while he was on vacation etc. If he is going through something this could easily be him just projecting it onto you. I would also wonder if he has mental health problems like PTSD, anxiety disorder etc and maybe these mental problems were acting up during these moments.

    Maybe he is mad, maybe even mad at you and for some reason somehow he is blaming it on you for having to move away and he is taking it out on you. (of corse this would be very wrong for him to put the blame on you) Maybe he's sad you're moving away and maybe he feels the only way to get over you is to mistreat you.

    Or maybe this is like secretly him caring about you and he's actually mistreating you on purpose because he wants you to get over him so you suffer and miss him less, Kinda like one of those superhero moments of "I'll be the bad guy because these people are better off without me and if they hate me they won't miss me and suffer less"

    Or maybe he's just an asshole and a jerk and this is how he actually is.

    Honestly it's hard to know why he did this, why he acted this way. You could always ask him and maybe he's being honest or maybe he's lying and it would be up to you if you believe him or not.

    However if I was in your shoes personally and a woman who I got along with so well was treating me like that I would try to understand why she is acting this way, I would think about all the possibilities of why she was acting this way but I would also just be straight forward and ask her. But at the same time, I also have a limit, and I am not going to tolerate someone mistreating me.

    As for the long distance relationship, they can be tricky and risky. I'm not saying it's impossible but it is difficult. But if you are going to be in one, you have to make sure BOTH of you guys are willing to do it, willing to face difficult challenges, willing to deal with jealousy and trust and both have to put effort into it. It has to be right, for the BOTH of you.

    So if someone didn't want to be in a log distance relationship with me, I would try to just move on, the last thing I would want is for someone to feel forced to be with me but that it makes them unhappy or that they aren't able to deal with long distance

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    • Anyways, if it doesn't work out with this guy just try your best to move on. Hang out with friends, find a hobby, work out etc. These things can help with moving on. I know it's difficult to deal with something like this, especially when it's confusing and the sudden change of a person acting so different when in the beginning things were so good. But its' normal to feel like that, if I was in your shoes I would have a series of unanswered questions running in my head about why did this happen.

      But there are many guys out there who can treat you better. And you can find something special. So if nothing happens with this guy you still have many chances. Plus you're beautiful and young, so you'll be alright.

      I hope I helped.

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    • Cool I'm glad I could help, I followed you, you should follow me lol :P

    • That's a good argument, so I will 😂

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