Should we break up?

I'm getting married in 6 months... I love him so much. We live together well and get on great! From the outside we have a fab and happy relationship. We just don't have sex, I've given up initiating it, as I'm always rejected by him. We cuddle on the sofa, kiss goodnight, hug; but don't get anymore passionate or intimate. The only time I see a glimpse of it is when he's been drinking. I love him and don't ever want to hurt him, but we've only had sex 5 times in the past year!

I have tried talking to him about it before but he has got so angry that I am now too scared to talk to him about it.

I just feel that we're now more like friends that live together rather than a couple.

We've known each other for 7 years, been together for 2.5 years and lived together for 1.5 years. we both work for the same company so know the same people at work, even if we rarely cross paths there. I'm 24 and he's 34.

Should we break up before getting married? Am I being selfish? Is this just cold feet - am i making a bigger deal out of this than i should? What should i do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Before getting into any sort of conclusion, what matters the most is the question of
    1) who proposed for marriage?
    2) if it's him, how many months it's been after proposal?

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    • Him and 1 year

    • He is engaged to u for 1 year he is not playing around. He want u. And definitely not a mistake otherwise would been reversed. Meaning if he did it by mistake he would have undone it long time ago.

      Now he want to marry u that is obvious but he might have issues and maybe he chose to engage that long coz he want u to know him well and not be surprised then want a divorce.

      Sounds like he have problems but good guy. So :) either chose to stick with him and be open about things to solve them

      Or stick with him and don't want to solve anything

      Or break up.

Most Helpful Girl

  • What the hell? He needs to open up about why he doesn't want to have sex with you. I would just tell him, we need to talk calmly about this and if not we need to see a counselor. Let him know your considering leaving. Sex is a big part of a relationship and if he is having an issue with it he needs to be open and honest about it

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • "I have tried talking to him about it before but he has got so angry that I am now too scared to talk to him about it."
    Holy shit is this a massive red flag. Your partner should not get so angry at discussing relationship issues that you can't ever bring anything up. This is 100% a bad relationship. DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON.

    Also, your ages are an added on issue. By itself it'd be a thing to keep in mind, but with what you've described it's kind of a "well that's probably the problem". I do not know any healthy, mature 31 y/os who would be ok with dating someone who is 21. You're just at vastly different stages in life and that whole decade of life experience really does make a difference. I mean, can you imagine dating someone who is 17 right now? Probably not because their life, what they want and what thye've experienced is just so different from where you are at 24. The kind of people who usually go for a younger partner are usually the kind who want to control or take advantage of their lack of life experience.

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  • Wow that's so terrifying. Go to a sex counselor! Like i know that's embarrassing for some people but you should pleeeassse don't bring that into your marriage. Handle the problem right now. Like righhht now. Don't break up, but get help from someone. And have a deep honest discussion about it. If you can't do that, then please save yourself and don't get married. I know thats a touchy subject, but don't get yourself committed to something that will torture you everyday or you will spend everyday regretting. I know it's hard cause you've been together for so long. But you have to be strong. You deserve better than this and don't let yourself fall short.

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