What if the man I love leaves his wife in order to be with me? Can it end well?

We have not had an affair, it just became clear that we like each other and the topic came up.
I never initiated anything, the realization of my feelings just came after a friendship that developed naturally.
He didn't say anything definitely yet and actually, I'm just trying to live my life without expecting anything from him now.
There was a time when I waited but he seemed so indecisive (and even admitted to it) that I understood that I might be wasting my time.

Before I see him again (not as in a date, just in everyday life) I would like to know -

If the topic should ever come up again and if this has been on his mind, would it be possible to work this situation out without causing too much pain?


Does anyone have experience with this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It will not end well if he leaves his wife. The best thing you can do is get out of this relationship. He's taken.

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    • Can you give me specific reasons as to why you think that would not end well? I know of some who made it work.

    • He is married... the divorce will be an emotional and financial disaster. Don't be a home wrecker.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay so you want this man who has not been faithful to his current SO (and it can be emotional as well as sexual) to end his marriage then be faithful to you?
    This will never end well. What you want to happen is the stuff that happens in movies and that's not real life.
    I would say move on but the choice is yours alone.

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    • I don't want to lure anyone away from anyone.
      It was his decision to come onto me and he made all the hints at leaving her.
      I was not sure if he tried to get me to have an affair with him like that or if he is just miserable and actually wants out. I don't know the details about their marriage and it's none of my business, but something seems awfully off there.
      We have not even touched each other. I have respect for other people, you know, even if my question might leave a different impression.
      I'm not into the fairy tale shit, I just want to know from people who've experienced similar situations to share their story.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Nah, guys who can become infacuated with other women while they are living with their own wife are automatically cold low integrate swamp rats. Being able about to ignore the emotional damage of someone you sleep next to every night just means you have absolutely no respect for the opposite sex.

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  • If you wait until AFTER he leaves his wife, then yes. Otherwise no.

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  • Absolutely no and you might be his next victim. Think of a man leaving his wife and maybe they even have kids

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  • He will never leave her. Save yourself from wasting time.

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  • It -can- work, its not that common, but it does happen sometimes.

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What Girls Said 4

  • He's married, there will likely be pain for someone no matter what happens.

    You are having an affair, it's just not physical. An emotional affair is just as devastating. You might argue, but it's not physical, I'm just a good friend, a confident. If you are merely a good friend, then he wouldn't be considering leaving his wife for you, would he?

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  • You're planning on figuring out how to get a man to leave his wife for you without "causing too much pain" . Either way , why would a man in his right mind leave the woman he married for a girl who likes him? You're 23, you should be worried on working and paying your rent , not getting a man to get a divorce for you

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    • Well, it's hard to express yourself accurately on the internet, but let's say it like this - I've been very deeply in love with him right from the beginning but never showed it and never had any hopes up. It so turned out that he showed me that he has feelings for me.
      When he mentioned divorcing her (of his own accord) I was surprised, but didn't pressure AT ALL. I didn't even mention it. I just waited what would happen next.

      Now it doesn't seem like this is going anywhere and I accept that. But just to clear my mind of things and stop the endless chatter in my head, I want to real life experience to know what such a situation could be like. So I can stop idealizing the idea of being with him.
      Don't take me for a kid, I assure you I'm not. I've been thinking about this a lot and have been in love with him for seven years. I tried to let go countless times and this time, I know it's for real.
      I just want something to hold onto to tell myself it's the right decision.

    • Because he seems miserable in his current life situation and clearly wants out. Yet, I cannot do anything, I don't have any right to. He holds onto me and tries to hold me back from getting into relationship with anyone and at the same time he knows he cannot do that forever.
      I just want to be able to shed more light on this situation for my own sake and mental health.

    • you're really this interested in a man who flirts with other women while he's married? Karma does come around , one day you may be in his wife's situation and find out a woman is trying to get with your husband and he's been flirting back. Not a good feeling, but you get what you give.

  • Just move on... if his mind is wandering while with another woman, he'll do it to you too...

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  • He ll end up cheating on you

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