I recently broke up with my girlfriend and part of me feels like I'm in the wrong?

We met back in November. At the time, we were fairly casual although it was very evident I liked her and she liked me. Around New Years, she told me she had been sleeping with other men and felt bad about it because she felt like she was cheating on me. I told her we were never dating or exclusive so it was completely okay for her to do so but I told her I still felt hurt about it and so we ended up taking a break from each other.

In January, we got back together and things we a lot more serious between us. However, here is where it becomes quite grey. We never talked about it or explicitly stated that we were exclusive. But we were telling each other we loved them and stuff. And it got to the point where it just felt like we were exclusive like she would tell me things like how she used to sleep around and I changed her.

Yesterday, she let it slip that she had been sleeping with someone recently and after a lot more questioning, I found out it happened around Valentine's day. By this point, it definitely felt like we had a proper relationship going on. But since we never had the talk, I'm not sure if I can really be mad at her.

I asked her why and she told me she was mad at me and sleeping with the other guy was to get back at me. I honestly feel like after she said that, there definitely was no going back. Its one thing to sleep with someone because you felt lonely but another to get back at me or hurt me.

She's now telling me if I truly loved her, I would forgive her and get back with her because she's forgiven me when we fought and I hurt her. I'm basically telling her that I still love her and as much as I want to, we can never get back together because it'll never be the same. I just want things to end on a good note.

Am I being too cruel or am I fair to stand by the decision I made? I really miss her and do love her but I can't stop thinking about her and the other guy


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think u should talk to her about it and if u both want to get back together make sure she is 100% committed to u but if she won't be get rid of her cause she will only hurt u, u seem to have done nothing wrong and u don't deserve mistreatment like this

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    • I know she wants to get back together and I do too but I don't know if I can trust her anymore. And I feel like no matter how things go, it'll never be the same because I'll always be wondering if there is someone else. She told me it was just a one time thing with the guy and it was only the one guy but the fact that she did it because she was mad at me also scares me because what if she does something worse the next time she was mad at me? The fact that she deliberately did something that would hurt me just to get back to me is a bit manipulated.

      I don't know. I feel so confused and hurt right now.

    • I get how u feel and it's a really difficult position to be in but I think if u get back with her make it a one last chance and if she does it again leave cause then u will know it will just always happen again

What Guys Said 1

  • If you're after an exclusive relationship, forget it. You've made the right decision, move on. If you want her a fuckbuddy, then sure, because that's all she's ever going to be. Clearly she can't handle being with one person right now and even if she does change, the damage is already there. I'm like you, I can't go back on things once they've been ruined and I also like to end things on a good note. Talk to her, be nice but make sure she understands the situation from your perspective and tell her that you don't see it working out. If you do that, you've done your job and been reasonable... If she doesn't accept that then clearly she's too immature to end things on a good note at which point just forget about it. Forget about missing her, that's natural, there's a void in your life right now that she's left... But she's not the right one for you and you've got to be strong in this, you'll find someone better.

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