I feel empty without male attention and I don't know why?

Hi, for a lot of my younger years I got absolutely zero male attention, and I used to believe that no one would ever love me. Now, I have 2 guys who adore me, and this guy I adore at work, I got off with at a staff party. Not sex, but it was nice to feel wanted.
When we saw each other at work for the first time 3 weeks after, he didn't pay me as much attention as I thought he would, and he barely messages me at all, which makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him. Now I'm finding it hard to eat and I don't really feel anything, because all I want is to be beautiful and to be loved by others. I don't care about my work or job, I just want the love from someone I adore.
I am very obsessed by how I look, and constantly worry about whether I need to reapply makeup, redo my hair etc. But my extreme lows from lack of attention and feeling like I'm not good enough are definitely not normal, my friends don't seem to feel anything this extreme. Any ideas on why this might be and how I can help myself?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • BellePepper has the right advice, here - seek help from a qualified therapist.

    It sounds like you are drawing a huge part of your self-esteem from the opinions of others, which is unhealthy for you, especially if its tied into your sexuality like this. The extreme lows and feeling like you are not good enough sound reminiscent of depression to me, but you'd need to meet with someone who is qualified to diagnose.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Get into therapy. You already know you're not healthy so fix it.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Past emotions connected to how you perceived your lack of male attention has developed itself from, an almost depressive state, into an affinity. And it seems to me that your affinity for male attention could possibly be linked to a fear of returning to that state where you felt alone and unloved.

    But you are beautiful, and no one can tell you different, so you shouldn't worry, or feel inferior. You are who is most important to you, not what guys think.

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  • I've felt the same way, since I don't get much female attention but I get told all the time by girls I don't know (i. e. ones working at a coffee shop or store" that I have beautiful eyes. So that just shows that just because you don't get much attention doesn't mean anything about you

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  • This is built into most people. It is the reason that humans have survived this long. (Longing for each other and desire for each other). Without that , who in their right mind would procreate. You are normal.

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  • Trust me your friends feel the same way they'll just never admit it

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  • thats normally feelings

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What Girls Said 1

  • Are you bipolar by any chance? I am, and I feel the same way.

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