What shall I do?

I am speaking with this guy and he started asking me about my past relationships.. i messed up a bit in the past.. i cannot tell him or i will screw up everything.. at the same time, what if one of the guys i slept with in the past, came up later and told him something he do not want to hear.. i cannot tell him either because he will assume i am not the girl he wants.. he is an amazing guy and i really like him.. what shall i do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just spill the beans... if some shit you did in the PAST bugs this guy and is the reason why he won't stick around? Fuck him... good riddance... now you can move on. Like you said, its better than someone else telling him later on down the line.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What are you worried about your past would happen? How did you mess up?

    You could tell him that your past is in your past and you'd like to leave it there. Unless there is a reason he needs to know (honestly, all he would need to know is that you have no kids from any previous relationship and you're clean) then let's just leave the past where it belongs.

    Now if there is actually something from your past that is relevant, something that could potentially destroy your relationship, it would be better if he heard it from you instead of from someone else. At least that way you can ensure you phrase it in the best possible way and ensure he has the proper context.

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    • The past inquires sex with guys.. i am afraid some guy would pop up and say stuff.. that we slept together.. the country we live in is so small and i am afraid

    • I am less aware of Lebanese culture, I believe there are both Christian and Muslim influences in Lebanon. Most are a mix of Catholic, Muslim, or Orthodox, which all in general don't really approve of premarital sex. Premarital sex is a pretty big deal I think, so you probably should let him know (don't give him details) but you might want to let you know that you messed up and don't have your virginity so that if the guy shows up later and says stuff it doesn't catch your new guy off guard. The worst thing that could happen is to have a guy from your past show up and surprise/shock him with info. Hopefully he isn't very religious and won't care about your virginity.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Tell him what you decide you want to tell him. He only has the right to your present at this stage, not your past. You don't owe him any explanations or apologies for your life, you lived it how you best saw fit at a time when he wasn't on the scene.

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    • What if someone came and told him something later on.. what if one of the guys told him we were sleeping together?

    • Show All
    • If a guy will ditch you because of your past then he is not the guy for you. He wasn't with you in the past and he can't dictate how you lived your life. Either he wants the current you or he doesn't. If he doesn't then it's his loss. You can't expect to control what happened before you came along, only what happens from now on.

    • Thank you so much.. u are so right.. thanks again

  • You don't have to tell him anything you don't want to - after all, it's your past and he wasn't involved in it. Just say what you're comfortable with saying and don't worry about anything else.

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  • this might not help, but you should tell him, and if he reactes they way you don't want him to, he might not feel the same, unless he does

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What Girls Said 2

  • Tell him what you're comfortable with and remember the past is the past. If he wants to judge you for that he's likely not the man you think he is.

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  • You can just say that you screwed up and don't go into detail. you have had relationships but they don't define you. why does he even want to know, so he can compare? he should respect your decision either way, if not, than don't even start anything.

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