Have you ever been in a verbally abusive relationship?

I dont know if Im in one. He easily gets mad, and gets really mean/insensitive when mad. He says "fuck you" and says mean sarcastic things. But when were not fighting he's really loving and supportive. He does have moments where he's mean and sometimes is really sweet. I dont know what to do. We had a fight and haven't talked in a week. 😞


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh yea... and i found out why people tend to stay in one. Because they feel they are exactly what the abuser spews from their mouth.
    My ex was verbally and physically abusive... and i still stuck around... she was my karma... since then, i dont take shit from no one.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're in an abusive relationship. People like your boyfriend have that tendency to be really awful, mean and nasty but once they cool off they act like they love you and I guess in some weird, twisted way they do but it's not the kind of love you want. Then you end up staying because you remember how nice and sweet he CAN be but just think about it, is how nice he is sometimes really worth all of the nastiness he puts you through? You deserve to be happy and you can't hardly be happy when you have someone that yells awful things at you, that's not a happy life. Trust me, things get better when you cut those people out of your life. It's hard at first but then you realize just how great life can be when you don't have such a toxic person bringing you down. Please break up with him because you deserve all the happiness and love in the world and he can't give it too you, if anything he's just making it harder for those good things to come into your life. If you ever need to talk you can message me. Good luck, I really hope that everything works out for you

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What Guys Said 5

  • I'd hardly consider that verbal abuse, but you also haven't given much details.

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    • I considered it verbal abuse because he starts to cuss at me and says some personal stuff to really hurt me when he's angry. Even after he agreed it was verbal abuse and that he'd stop. He still does it and blames me for
      Making him angry. I don't know if its ground for an official break up..

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    • Haha. Internet stranger. That is true.
      Thank you for your input, appreciate it! 😁

    • haha no problem. good luck! I hope things go well for you

  • sounds like most relationships these days. jealous and confused he sounds. try seeing if he will see a mental health specialist
    maybe he has underlying issues he's to afraid to tell you. if it makes you feel awful about yourself then it's time to part ways.

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  • If you hate yourself, stay with him. If you love and respect yourself, leave. Very simple le

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  • If he abuse you and dont care about what it can do it you.. That simply means he doesn't love to too much and you are literally nothing to him.

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  • Maybe he likes to get rid from his anger that way

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What Girls Said 19

  • *sighs* of course you are in one. Duh. But im sure that you knew that. I am not trying to be mean but I am very blunt and will not be soft with you. Move on and get over it. Its that simple. I am not about to baby you

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  • Why not leave then? First you say you dont know If its abuse , then someone comments and you correct them and let them know it is in fact abuse. Which is it? If his sarcasm and his use of the word fuck is too much, break things off and dont continue to be unhappy with someone like this.

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    • Because I am confused. I feel like its abuse during fights and in his "easily ticked off" moods but other times he makes me feel so loved and takes good care of me. I dont know what to do

  • Dump him OP, it's a confusion tactic that is classic for abusive people. By keeping you on your toes like this ("is today a good day or bad day?" "Oh no, is he mad?" "Oh he's happy today, he must love me") he can keep you confused, vulnerable and easily manipulated/controlled.

    It's normal to get upset or even mad at times, but when someone "easily gets mad" and swears at you or says sarcastic things, they're not normal.

    Dump him and move on.

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  • Not a romantic relationship but my relationship with my dad is verbally abusive. Which is one of the reasons why I don't live with him and try to avoid him.

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  • Sounds like he doesn't care how you feel. You should be mean right back.

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  • Hmmm, we've gotten into arguments a little. But I rarely raise my voice and try not to call him out of his name. In fact, once I called him an asshole because I felt like he was picking on me-and he hasn't forgotten since..

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  • Yup I have. This guy I dated for a few months backed in my early 20's used to call me names (when I was doing absolutely nothing but sitting there) around his friends (who would yell at him). He was super immature. Sounds like your boyfriend has some maturity issues too. He needs to get control of his anger. Just because he's great when he's in a good mood doesn't excuse his behavior. He should learn how to communicate without acting like a child.

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  • with my mother everyday tbh

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  • yes a year ago. The guy I was dating was just disrespectful af. He would call me all types of names & talk about me. I had to pull myself together and get outta that relationship.

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  • My ex husband was verbally as well as physically abusive to me

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  • Yes, my first boyfriend made fun of how I dressed, told me I wore too much makeup. Dissed how I did my hair and what shoes I shouldn't and shouln't wear. HE often told me I was childish and irresponsible.. He was a huge dick.

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  • luckly no

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  • My first relationship which started 3 years back was an abusive one, we broke up this year because he got too controlling of me :/ it was my first and probably the idea of being in a relationship itself now scares me.

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  • Yes I have and it was horrible for me

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  • My boyfriend can be the same way. Calls me a bitch at times, gets mad at the drop of a pen, snoops through my phone, I used to not even be able to go to the bathroom alone. He can be so sweet but instantly hurt me more than anyone I know. I would say it is, I have often questioned this myself.

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    • How long have you been together? :/

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    • Has he always been that way?

    • Nah at first it wasn't but like 1-2 months in the fighting started and just went from there.

  • Yes. My first husband was horrible. I can't tell you how grateful I am that he left. I have really never had an argument with anyone since then, and that was 1999.

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  • Yes. My mom calls me stupid and retarded all the time. Also my ex. 😐

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  • Yes right now.. its fucking stress but i can't do anything

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  • It sounds like you could be. I was in a verbally, sexually and emotionally abusive relationship. Get out while you can.

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