He doesn't want me, but he wants to be friends with me + he cares about me + he still wants to have sex?

I kind of dated with a guy for about 6 months, and he told me that he told his mom about this. After that, out of blue he told me that he didn't want me anymore and just wants to be friends. That had driven me crazy and I even committed suicide several times. We went to psychiatrist's together...

Then I met a new guy at work and decided not to respond, until that new guy started ignoring me completely (about 3 months). I went to his hometown on my own, not because of him but because of work. He saw my photos on Instagram and wrote me. I was so weak at that time and called him. He sounded so happy that I called, and we catched up briefly over phone.

Then about a week later, we decided to meet and we ended up sleeping together after all. Until this happens, I was sleeping with anybody, but now I don't want anything with anybody (except for him).

He has no intention to be in a serious relationship with me but he wrote me that he was happy that he met me again and we had a good time. And then he sent me some old photos including my naked photos.

My main questions are:

- Why does he want to be friends with me? We live in a big city, it's not difficult to make friends at all. Why doesn't he just let me go?

- If he doesn't like me in a romantic way, why does he want to sleep with me? He says he doesn't enjoy casual sex. If he doesn't like casual sex why would he do it?

He was with another girl before I met him for about 4 years, and it sounds like she's super crazy... (like actually writing him that she would cut her wrist if he doesn't call her now... I'm crazy too for attempting suicide but I'm sure I wasn't this bad.) Even still he wants to get back with her and I see on his Facebook and she likes every single posts he posts now. From some point he stopped talking about her. I don't think they're together yet as he would never do this kind of things if he had a girlfriend.

I would appreciate it if you could tell me your opinion!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wish I could call you to mimic a guys tone, and teach you to pin point intention through voice and expression.

    He was driven to attachment to his ex. so there is a fear of her harm being his fault. After that he wants something he can control since he lacked that last time.

    The best is to keep him at arms length and concentrate on your skills. Cultivate your happiness alone and you will find being with the right person is better than pining after one who does not pay mind to you.

    Being dependent is natural, but steady yourself on your two feet. Your own space, money, and career first. You come first. then see if you still care for him.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He's lonely but he doesn't see as long term girlfriend material, also you're way too dependent.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You should leave him completely. You should cut him out of your life for your own good. It sounds like this guy brings nothing but pain. If he doesn't want a relationship and just wants sex there is a good chance he is using you. If you want to talk let me know i have more insight.

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