How to leave my boyfriend, I'm mentally unstable? ?

I have had depressions since my middle school years till now, but it was only this year I tried to seek help from a psychologist. I tried to commit suicide before this year and made my boyfriend he was not my boyfriend that time though) worried. I can be happy but I'm mostly sad, because of all the problems I have. The past 2 months I tried to work so hard to improve my life, both acedemically and socially. But I have failed, everything I tried to put so much effort into turns out to be nothing and a failure. My health has also been bad, so I couldn't attend many classes and affected my impact of my practice (I'm a student teacher) and failed.

I feel so depressed now, I'm trying to see my psychologist but I don't feel like it's helping, I still feel so suicidal at times... but because I know I'm so mentally unstable, I'm afraid my boyfriend will get affected by my bad personality.. How can I leave him because he deserve someone better and more normal than me? I feel so selfish that he's my boyfriend when I am always sad, depressed and thinking about dying all the time. I don't want him to worry about me and he's better off with someone. I'm always afraid thinking I might try to kill myself and make him worried


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What Guys Said 2

  • I would like to help you if I can. I have questions I would like to ask to have a better idea of what's gone on in your life to cause all this pain you have. I want you to feel free to ask any questions that you might not want to put out to the world on GAG. It's too much to go into here on the public part. I promise I won't ask for any personal information on you other than what I mentioned above. Let me know if you are interested. Without more information, I can't do what you are looking for.

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    • It's hard to talk about this privately because I do not wish to show my username... But I have family and friend problems, my family is not normal... some of my siblings are on drugs, one is fake and manipulative, everyone are aggressive, my father is a criminal and violent, another sibling is disabled now thanks to him... I have no real friends, I was always bullied for years, people would call me ugly and my mom's friends would call me fat. My bestfriends betrayed me, backstabbing me, I am often alone whenever I'm not with my boyfriend.
      I feel insecure of myself because I got played before with a guy I flirted with, my ex cheated on me for a model... I used to go and beat people, stabbed one man's hand with a pocket knife.. I was at this stage where I thought dying would be good, and it's still hard for me to get over it. At times I struggle with alcohol problems, and when I get drunk I get more depressed since I do stupid things and cry about how my life is horrible.

    • Your issues are deep seated and you need a professional therapist to help you. Know that you can overcome all of this with s good one. Trying to do it yourself would be bad because your most likely to fail and feel even worse. It takes hard work on your part. You know the issues, but don't understand how to move past them. You first need to understand exactly how and why they effect you so much. I mean beyond what you think you know. Knowing and understand are two different things. You have to do this if you want to have the life you want. You are very young and know, without a doubt, that you can do this. Don't give up early on because you feel more miserable than when you started. Things always feel worse at the beginning of therapy. You will find that it starts getting better as you go along. In the end, you can be the person you know in your heart you really are. Many people think drinking will give them a break. Alcohol is a depressant. That is why it gets worse when you drink.

  • ... and just what are these "problems", per se

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    • I have family and friend problems, my family is not normal... some of my siblings are on drugs, one is fake and manipulative, my father is a criminal and violent, another sibling of mine is disabled now thanks to him... I have no real friends, I was always bullied for years, people would call me ugly and my mom's friends would call me fat. My bestfriends betrayed me, backstabbing me, I am often alone whenever I'm not with my boyfriend.
      I feel insecure of myself because I got played before with a guy I flirted with, my ex cheated on me for a model... I used to go and beat people, stabbed one man's hand with a pocket knife.. I was at this stage where I thought dying would be good, and it's still hard for me to get over it. At times I struggle with alcohol problems, and when I get drunk I get more depressed since I do stupid things and cry about how my life is horrible.

    • yeah alcohol is just a temporary fix to a long term problem. you can't face your fears, so you mask them

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