I spent some time with a longtime galpal of mine last weekend. She's a wonderful woman and probably the only true "gal pal" I have.
Anyway she just got in a divorce a month ago after a 6 year relationship. She told me that she was struggling to "forgive herself" for making the decision to leave her ex. However whenn we met up last weekend she was at probably her most attractive, most confident and most successful I have ever seen her. I found it incredible (and scary) that she was able radiate like this after only being broken up for A MONTH. She also told me she already found a fuck buddy only ONE WEEK after she broke up with her ex. Her ex knows this guy too.
She told me that her ex "was a good man" but definitely not an "alpha". She told me how his quirks eventually drove her nuts. She was is probably more of a "guy's girl" chics I know, but she hinted about some eccentric/hypocritical behavior's I really dislike in women. She tells me that I should be more comfortable and "open" with my sensitivities/emotions i. e. they are not a turnoff to women. However she also alluded to saying this one of the major reasons she dumped her ex (I've been following Corey Wayne about this). It depressed me to hear this feminine double standard.
Anyway her ex was completely taken off guard by this break up (of course). I'm almost completely sure he went on cruise control after they got married and just brushed off her emotional/bitchy moments as no big deal. However I think this was a long time coming (in her mind) and finally she snapped.
Case in point I believe most women usually break up with men LONG before they leave them. They come to a mental decision, make plans (including back up guys) and then look for ways to "justify" the split (pay more attention to a guy's quirks, mistakes, etc). This is a strategy to placate their conscious. Not saying it's completely wrong, but it's really just sad. Most guys usually don't see this coming.
1. Many women (but not all) have the "grass is always greener on the other side" attitude when they get into relationships 2. Being a single lady is very "cool" and "strong" in our modern society. 3. It's completely fine to bash on your ex (who did nothing fundamentally wrong) to avoid feeling guilt.
Sometimes breakups are necessary but I don't like how our society "gives power" to women with this.
Most Helpful Girl
I will tell you my point of view, because I have been through this recently. I think women will often be unhappy in a relationship, and do everything they can in order to fix it. However, guys will often brush off her suggestions/wants to talk as 'nagging'. But she has a right to live a happy and peaceful life too. So by the time, she has packed her bag and has her hand on the doorknob, it dawns on the guy that she is serious, and is leaving. He will usually then try to save the relationship, but it is too late. She has already emotionally left it. The nagging, pleading etc has taken its toil! So guys, a word of advice. Listen to your ladies! If your women have a problem, hear them out! Help them work it out, because that's the time to save your relationship! Not when she is walking out the door!5
Most Helpful Guy
Well most divorces are instigated by women. You are definitely right and I will go further to say that women will wait for months maybe even year to break up to coincide after major holidays and events such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's, St Patrick's, her birthday, that holiday you paid for, your sister's big wedding, If she will need a date for a wedding or party etc. Also a serious amount of women will wait until they have another guy before breaking up, have found another single guy they like that's single, or a guy they've always liked is finally single and through this they will always have a break in case of emergency backup guy in case they break up with you and end up single in which case the guy she breaks up with maybe the back up guy. I will say that any guy that gets into a long term relationship with a woman who already has a boyfriend or is married is a fool and a dick.
As for double standards, I personally think it's unfair to condemn people's preferences and choices when it comes to dating as we are attracted to who we are attracted to and can't help how we feel. I've noticed that even the most feminist women will often end up with a sexist alpha male type and myself personally I could never date an obese woman no matter her personality.1