Urgent help required- How can I convince my ex to be friends without begging?

We had a rough break up and I've been going through hell. He has been very bitter to me and blocked me from everywhere then Something happened in my personal life and he text me asking if I was okay. I really want my best friend back but I don't know how to ask, I don't want to sound needy or stupid. He knows what I'm going through and I'm nervous for our conversation. But how should I talk to him, this is the first time we've spoken after he's been so hostile towards me


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119

Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't. When you break up with someone, in most cases, your relationship with them ends. If he has strong feelings, which it seems clear that he does, then he's not going to want to be friends, because that just brings drama and stress and pain to his life that the friendship can't compensate for.

    You need to forget about him, quit looking behind you (at your past), and instead turn around 180 degrees and start looking FORWARD to your FUTURE. Learn whatever lessons there were to learn from your past relationship, and don't make those mistakes again, but don't dwell in the past. Nothing good can come of that.

    Part of growing up is accepting that you don't get to keep everything you once had, and relationships are definitely among those things that are often lost.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know you say youve gone through something in your life but don't use that as an excuse get him back in your life. He was most likely being civil by asking how you are. Your best bet would be to just respond with a thank you for asking, I'll be ok. And leave it at that. please focus your energy elsewhere, in front of you.

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    • I did, I said thank you and his response was that he didn't wanna see me or talk to me for a while but this happened so he wanted to check up on me and make sure I was okay, he told me he wants to still be in my life and talk but just not right now. So for now I'll respect that and give him his space and see where it goes. At the meantime I will move on and focus on me

    • Good for you. Be serious about moving on. You never know what wonderfullness lies ahead of you if you stand still or worse, keep looking behind you. best of luckšŸ’Ÿ

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What Guys Said 18

  • Say please. If you need to apologize, do so. Those are two things which will usually throw off tension in a conversation pretty quickly. If you valued his friendship while you two were together, make that clear. If you're struggling and he cares about you, it won't sound like begging and it probably won't sound like desperation to simply ask "Can we please be friends again?" And from there, if he accepts, you start the process of healing.

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    • He told me that he doesn't want to talk or see me for a while but he does want to

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    • That seems like a wise thing to do =3

    • Good on ya

  • You're not going to get him back. You're old enough you should know being friends after a breakup won't happen. Grow up stop being pathetic and get over it. That's one of the prices of dating a friend

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    • First of all plenty of people are friends with their ex's and you don't know my relationship or our friendship, I wasn't asking for your judgement lmao. I was asking for advice

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    • No plenty of people aren't friends with their ex. That is an extreme minority

    • I gave you my advice and that's stop being pathetic and get on with your life without him

  • Seriously? Do you ever want your own life? Do you ever want to have a normal relationship? Get rid of this guy. Wipe your hands clean of him. Dont contact him ever. Dont see him ever. Be cordial if you run into him but thats it. You wanna know why irs rough? Because you still talk to the fuckshow! I mean hello! You are 30. Should know this.

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  • 1. Don't talk to them until you're emotionally ready to legitimately be friends.

    If this is "Urgent", then you're not ready. Take some time being single and let the emotions die down a lot. You should be calm and cool, just rocking up to talk to this guy and offer an olive branch.

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  • If you are the one that broke it off - and I'm laying long odds that this is the case. You;ll need to wait until his bruised ego heels at which point you may be on the other side of the coin. If he broke it off and you're trying this you are the most spiritually together human walking the planet

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  • You had it now you have lost it. Simple as that

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    • Yeah and I ignored him and haven't contacted him since. He was the one who text me on different platforms asking about me

    • Then let it go girl. The reality of life is no one can have every a person wants from life.

  • If you have to "convince" someone to be your friend, they aren't worth befriending. The fact that he happens to be your ex doesn't change that.

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  • don´t. move on and never contact them again. staying friends will harm you even if your emotions kind of tell you that this is ok right now. it is not ok to do this. it will hurt you. you will regret even trying.

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  • Learn to break up. You won't BE FRIENDS! He already has friends and as a male company of friends they are much better than you.

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  • Hell? Really as in what? If you cheated on him, lave it alone! If you accused him of cheating and he did not , leave it alone! If you think it's worth a try buy tickets to his fav team and invite other (5 tickets) ask if he wants to go... If that's too much work move on! HA HA CONVINCE without begging... TAKE IT TO THE OLD SCHOOL YOU HAVE TO SAY "ain't too proud to beg" ...

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    • Haha no you got the wrong end of the stick. I don't mean convince.. I just couldn't find a better word for it. You never know unless you try, I don't give up on people I love. I just didn't realise it was too early for us to be friends and that we need the space

  • why be friends with an ex? there's a billion other people to be friends with

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  • You shouldn't. He's your ex for a reason...

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    • Yeah for a dumb reason.. life is too short to be fighting and ruining friendships and relationships over petty arguements.

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    • We broke up because we were arguing a lot.. it just got to that point where it was too much. I didn't expect him to leave me like that though

    • Thank you for your wishes I appreciate it

  • Just ask if he wants that or not

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    • I did and he said no then I sent a goodbye text and his response was that he didn't wanna see me or talk to me for a while but this happened so he wanted to check up on me and make sure I was okay, and i went so never? And he went no for a while silly, he told me he'll talk to me some other time. I don't know what any of that meansā˜¹ļø So for now I'll respect that and give him his space and see where it goes

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    • lol that's not why.. we don't live anywhere near each other so yeah impossible šŸ˜‚

    • Well then if you are alone to much you have to ask if he would move near you or you move near him

  • You can't... move on

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  • by calling him

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  • Just get on your knees.

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  • He deserves better than you. And if he doesn't want to be your friend that's his right.

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    • Lmao he cheated but he deserves better than me. Oh okay great logic there

  • if u respect ur self respect then don't

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    • I don't wanna lose out on everything we had, our friendship meant a lot to me. I know we can't be together for now but I still want to be civil and be friends

    • I think u r dumb

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