Is this normal or a phase?

my fiancee and I have been together for 5 years. we have been through a lot in those years. lately he has been sleeping on the couch. we haven't slept in the same bed in 2 weeks asides from sex, he doesn't bother in bed. I take Seroquil to sleep and my sleep is solid. a few days ago he tried to wake me at 3 am for sex. when I wouldn't give in, he stormed out of the room, slamming doors and cursing. when I have an opinion or complaint he says let's just go our separate ways. I feel isolated sometimes and Im a tad afraid of what will happen if I do. I hate conflict so I keep my mouth closed and sugar coat my words. worst part is he's NPD. he never sees the good in me and throws it in my face. when we fight he'll disconnect the internet and will tell me not to touch his food. I love this man so much and I feel lost without him. I feel like my whole world is upside down. I can't say he's all bad. he takes care of me in some aspects and he's loving, attentive, when it's good it's good but when it's bad it's awful. anyways, why does he insist on sleeping on the couch and no he didn't fall asleep there. calling all guys, please help me understand. our relationship is OK asides from those factors Thanks Much


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Most Helpful Guy

  • may b you taking sleeping pills and having a solid sleep has got to something with it... may be...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • That is not normal and that is not okay.

    I'm also hearing that he doesn't think your opinions or complaints matter. If he doesn't think your thoughts matter, he probably doesn't think you matter. When you care about someone, you care about what they think, their feelings and their problems matter to you. He also doesn't see the good in you, if he doesn't see the good in you, why would he care for you?

    You also say that you feel isolated and you are afraid of what will happen. That sounds like he is emotionally abusing you. You are not only being isolated in your relationship, but when you have problems he cutting you off from the rest of the world by disconnecting the internet. In addition, it sounds like you are in an emotional roller coaster in this relationship. Actually you sound a lot like someone in an abusive relationship, "when it's good it's good but when it's bad it's awful", "our relationship is OK aside from those factors". Basically, the first comment tells me you are in an emotional roller coaster and the latter statement tells me that our relationship is OK except for when he's being emotionally abusive. Leave him.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I hate to say it but it looks like he is trying to find a way out without being the one to cut it off.

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    • that's what I thought thanks

    • I just asked him if he does it as an easy way out, so I'll break up with him and sometimes he feels like shit. he is on methadone... but still

  • Sex is an issue when it comes to men, They are pretty into this. its a dominating factor in a relationship. I have undergone the same, things got better when you push yourself into it, Yes! at times unwillingly. I feel bad sometimes but ultimately it keeps him satisfied, relation grows healthy.

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    • makes sense but how could he want me when Im half asleep and barely mobile. how can a man want sex from from me when Im half ass incoherent and can't get into it cuz Im sedated. why is he on the couch. if he wanted a way out, he would just leave, I know him too well... none of this crap makes any sense to me. I just asked him about an easy out and he said no

    • My husband wakes me up at night to have sex and I am dozed off. I hushed him off initially but it made negative impact on our relation. Then I started to give it him whenever he wants to, be it mid night. Trust me! Things got better.

      I don't think he wants to cut off from this relation. A guy so straight forward won't take it so fucking long to walk out of relation if he wants.
      He is man after all, men does get hard easily, they want sex on regular bases, you got to be more appealing. I am sorry but you need to walk out of your comfort zone.
      If even after that things are still shitty. Then you people need you make some serious talks.
      Keep yourself prepared for everything, even for breakup. Give it chance, hopefully things will work out.

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