Does no contact method on trying to forget somebody work?

I ended things with a girl, back in August, 7 months ago roughly around that. I had to, it was the best for me. But I did care about her. Maybe too much, maybe at a young age, I thought I found my perfect someone. Things ended up being unhealthy and toxic. She ended up abusing me and it did hurt. Made me feel isolated and the problem now is. Even though, it been months, she comes across my mind and I want to forget about her. I really do. I don't talk to her anymore.

Should I continue not contacting her and everything will be clear, that my mind tell be clear?

I think i am getting over her, slowly and I should concentrate on myself.

Concentrate on my life.

It isn't unhealthy for my mind to be remembering. Even now at 7 pm, I want to message her but i obviously remembering the hurtful disrespectful words she said to me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, going no contact does help many people to 'move on' and let go easier.
    Which doesn't mean it'll be a walk in the park in any means. It often will involve a whole bunch of looking back on what you went through with this person, teh good times and the bad, and seeing where you (or she) went wrong.

    You'll have to push aside the good times that you very well could have had and ask yourself that you don't deserve to be with someone who can abuse you and treat you so poorly and not be in the slightest been perturbed by it. Can you honestly see yourself having a lt relationship with such a person and genuinely being happy?

    If not, let them go. I find that going no/contact completely tends to be the most helpful as the less you see them or reminders of them, the more emotionally removed you'll begin to grow over time. Once your emotions have settled down, you'll be able to reasonably think over everything that was wrong in this relationship and specifically what in the other individual's treatment of you was wrong and you KNOW was a sham- a toxic relationship;

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    • Would you of leave a boy if he did that to you?

      did you read the other answers for more information? Can you do that pls

      I appreciate your time

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    • It's hard to say if I'd stick by my decision to not be interested in you from an objective point of of view. I'd most likely not magically gain a sudden infatuation with you.

    • Ok thanks

Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't contact her. You should delete her number tbh. It will heal once you find a new person to have interest in. In the meantime, yes, focus on you and your well being.

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    • I haven't been contacting her, I thought i was ready, i asked a nice girl if she wanted to go to the movies with me Last month, she wasn't keen. I accept her honesty 😊

      Anyway, Back to this, recently my mind been having flashbacks of her, I know and I have Learnt me and her are not meant to be.

      I just want to get rid of this feeling.

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    • No more advice to all to shag I said?

    • To all I said?*

What Girls Said 12

  • I've been in a lot of relationships where I've been very hurt by their actions. I found that no longer contacting them and deleting them from everything (phone, social media, etc.) Was the best thing for me. Sometimes it took months to stop thinking of them, but eventually you move on with your life. The heart heals eventually. Personally I think a rebound is a horrible decision... Yes it can make things easier, but you're​ still not healed. You need to do it on to your own. Just keep talking to your support group (friends, family, etc.) To help you stay strong.

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    • What is a rebound?

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    • Yes, I have left guys that have been like that towards me. There are good people out there that will treat you with respect. You just have to be patient. I did read the other responses... Some people say that no contact doesn't work, but I'm sure it worked more than they think. Im sure they wouldn't be as moved on if they continued speaking with their ex.

    • Yeah thanks

  • It's hard trust me. I've been off and on with my partner for 3+ years but I finally had to break it off for reasons you described it was so unhealthy and just toxic.

    It hasn't been long this time but I know no matter how long it's been I'm still going to think about him and want to reach out.

    I hope one day I won't feel this way. But I don't know that I won't ever. But I have to be strong and not. It's just for the best.

    What's going to be hard is it's his bday coming up. I will feel like such an evil bitch not just sending him a happy bday message. It's such a simple thing to send someone you spent so much time with, but I know I shouldn't. But I will struggle that day because I will feel so mean and nasty if I don't.

    It's the small things that trouble us because we care, care too much.

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    • I can Relate the girls birthday is next month and I don't want to send a birthday message because I'll seem like that ex that has never moved on

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    • I'm sure someone will. Be yourself, don't seem easy to guys.

      Best relationships are worth the wait 😊

    • Omg I'm not easy at all, in a prude very old fashioned and cut guys off as soon as I'm disrespected or it's clear they are just after one thing!

  • It's not going to work so quickly and well, but it's miles above the alternative of talking to her or being around her.

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    • Would you of leave a boy if he did that to you?

      did you read the other answers for more information? Can you do that pls

      I appreciate your time

  • Personally, looking back on my own experiences, it has not worked for me. Even though, on some occasions that's what had to be done because there was nothing left to say or do.

    Just try your best, as unhelpful as that sounds to continue to focus on things that occupy your mind. Whether it's work, school, going out. For me, it's only until I would give it time and find someone else that the other person would fade but that's obviously not the right way to go about it. Keep as busy as possible

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    • Would you of leave a boy if he did that to you?

      did you read the other answers for more information? Can you do that pls

      I appreciate your time

  • I think you are doing the best thing for yourself by not contacting her. You may want to consider making some new friends by taking up an activity that will cause you to interact with people.

    There was a time when I thought I would never get over certain guys, but I did. Some took longer than others, and my very first heartbreak was one of the longest.

    Hang in there!

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    • Would you of done the same?

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    • did you read the other answers for more information? Can you do that pls

      I appreciate your time

    • Hopefully I forget about her soon

  • try a rebound to help you

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  • Eventually yes. It takes time.

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    • Would you of leave a boy if he did that to you?

      did you read the other answers for more information? Can you do that pls

      I appreciate your time

  • I am a women. I said a lot of hurtful things to a guy too. But it's because he did not do things right or treat me right. I found myself deeply hurt but still love him.
    It takes two person to work things out if you both love each other to figure the problem and change, compromise. Sometimes we say hurtful things it's because we are actually feeling hurt.

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    • Would you of leave a boy if he did that to you?

      did you read the other answers for more information? Can you do that pls

      I appreciate your time

  • No the "no contact" method doesn't work because that will only make the person keep coming to your mind even more than as if you were to just occupy your mind with something else

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    • Would you of leave a boy if he did that to you?

      did you read the other answers for more information? Can you do that pls

      I appreciate your time

    • If I was the "abuser (her)", I would eventually think that he moved on if he stopped talking to me for x amount of time. If I were the "victim" (you), I would stop talking to her, and keep my mind as occupied away from her as possible so she doesn't cross my mind again if it's a bad thing. So yah, if you mean a boy abused me, oh hell yah I'd get out of there fast. If you mean a boy stopped talking to me after a situation like yours, I'd assume that he's moved on and I would move on as well then cuz there's no point dwelling on a relationship that won't happen again if you know it won't

    • Ok thanks

  • This guy is doing no contact on me. It's been almost 3 weeks. This isn't the first time he's done this. He has gone months without talking to me before. But he always came back and I was so happy because i missed him so much. I thought about him everyday. He said he missed me also and wanted to talk to me sooner but was scared. Our whatever you wanna call it wasn't healthy either, bad communication. We barely saw each other anymore but my feelings remained. I resented him for not making me a priority and flipped out, threatened him, etc and he ghosted me three weeks ago. I was so sad. But I deserve it. He doesn't have to put up with me. So guys do think about a girl he went no contact on?

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    • Would you of leave a boy if he did that to you?

      did you read the other answers for more information? Can you do that pls

      I appreciate your time

    • I don't think I'll ever give up on him

    • Why you say that?

  • It works after a few months

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    • Can you explain more?

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    • In a second.

    • Can you explain why?

      And did you read the other answers for more information? Can you do that pls

      I appreciate your time

  • For me it didn't. No matter what I was and am constantly thinking about him. πŸ˜”

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    • Can you explain more? About the relationship and when did things end?

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    • You were a good listener

    • Thank you. I'm very happy you got out of that toxic relationship.

What Guys Said 0

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