Ever since we broke up one year ago we have never really had a lapse in talking and just continued, He was going through a lot at the time he broke up with me and he was ery closed off from everyone. We continued to talk and be intimate and still are. He changed his mind quite a few times saying it was not fair to us. He said this prob 4-5 times. The way he acts and the things he does tells me he wants something still, but at times he seems unsure because he still dealing with a lot and is always so busy. He told me last week we should stop being intimate as it wasn't fair to either of us like he always did. He also just told me that maybe I should find someone. He said he means that he thinks I deserve someone that isn't all over the place as he is. I know there is something there but can be be iffy or stand off ish because he's going through a lot. He is a very great guy and I want to assure him that he is what I want and he is enough for me. Do I tell him how I feel, and could there still be something?
Mine and Ex- Can something ever be again?
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What Girls Said 1
I don't think this relationship will work, as he isn't ready to settle down yet and has other priorities in his life that are far more important to him than a relationship.
I think it's good he admitted that you guys shouldn't keep being intimate together, as that's just something that holds a small bond for you two, and since he isn't ready or wanting a relationship at this time, it's not fair he's keeping you held back waiting for him, when you could be out dating other guys and finding someone more suited to you.
I honestly think your best bet is to stop being intimate with him, and let this relationship/friendship lessen. Actions speak louder than words, he's changed his mind multiple times and is always too busy, that right there is a key he's not committed, or even sure of what he wants yet. He's got more important things he needs to focus on himself now, and I doubt that will change anytime soon if it's already been this long.
You know what you want, and you cannot keep letting him be the special person in your life if he's clearly not feeling the same way about you. You deserve to have someone there for you, who chooses to be apart of your life, and wants to share intimacy, time, commitment, etc. with you.
Your ex may still care about you, but he's right. It's not fair what you are doing, and sharing a more so friends with benefit type of thing isn't helping the situation any.
You need to move on, and part your own ways. Let him live his life, and figure out where he wants to go, what he needs to do, and eventually he will find that person he's meant to be with.
As for you, I'd recommend moving forward. You can still keep in contact with him but only as a friend is probably best. Move forward, start dating again and opening yourself to new people.
You shouldn't be waiting around for this guy, even if you feel strongly about him still and want to make things work, he's not willing to prioritize you or a relationship. You need to focus on yourself now, and do what you need to do for you.0
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