Is breaking up with him the right decision? What would you do?


II have always wanted someone who I can have meaningful, deep, and engaging conversations with. Someone I can debate things on with. Someone who can challenge me. Someone who is expressive. Someone who will make me laugh. Never have i needed a man with all the money or looks.

It will be 2 years on June 5 that I am with my boyfriend.
His Pros: He has stood by me in my darkest moments, he has good character, he is faithful kind and understanding. He is loving. He is understanding and loves me unconditionally. He makes me feel beautiful with or without makeup or when my skin is breaking out from exam stress.

His Cons: Communication, I will never get to have the types of conversations I want in a person, I am not mentally attracted to him or physically attracted anymore. During our time together I have truly tried to encourage him to be expressive. He doesn't even know how to compliment or know what to say in the hard days.

He is not open with me. I have never been difficult to talk to and have been so patient.

He is a good man, husband material and I do love him. I am just not in love with him. I know that if we were to get married it would be a dull marriage eventually. Cause he is the very quiet type.

What would you do if you were me?

I am planning to tell him how i feel after i complete my exams in May, and then give the relationship a 4 months to see if anything changes.

Its eating me up inside <\3


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I suppose you could tell him that, but it's unlikely that he will change. I mean... that's his nature, his personality. Not many people will be able to, or willing to, change their core personality.

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    • Yea I know that, you can't ask someone for something they can't give. But good men are unicorns

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    • I am gonna try really hard to make this work. Give it 4 - 6 mths, if i feel the same thereafter. I will end it.

    • Yeah, good thinking! Good people are hard to find in this cruel world, so it's good that you are willing try 100% before giving up!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Communication is a part of every serious relationship. Sometimes you should discuss something important, something bothering you, something you like/dislike about each other and most topic how you should work think out with each other... You should take time and talk to him about things that bothering you and show him that communication is important in your love life. In general as you described him he's a good person and been there for you...
    You should decide for yourself if you need to stay with him or not but I don't think I could be a part of a person who I can't discuss anything with

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    • Girl I am so torn. Some days I think how dare I give up on a good man. But all i ever wanted in a man was ambition, raw intellect and humor. He has ambition and he is supportive. But I just don't know. I am so scared to leave him cause i know how many men out there just use and mess with women's emotions. Fucked up to feel this way :(. I am not happy. We are not compatible. God. :(

    • well you should open this subject with him before making decisions but you said you're not happy so why need to stay if you don't.
      you should be happy ☺

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • last try.
    if you don't feel comfortable with him anymore... leave

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    • Do you think I am a bad person for feeling this way? Yea I will give it a last try, I will try for 4 mths after my exams are finish

    • not really. get in mind you can't live to others perspective and not your own. if he doesn't meet what you need and that makes you uncomfortable/sad doesn't mean you're a bad person, just he doesn't meet your requirements.
      think of it as a PC game. If it doesn't meet the minimum PC requirements it will lag stutter and eventually crash. (I'm really bad trying to explain my thoughts sorry xD)

What Girls Said 1

  • I have had this issue before. Actually, my boyfriend and I have dated the same amount of time

    I chose to stay. The grass is always greener on the other side, and it's hard to find the level of dedication your boyfriend shows you. The lack of physical /emotional attraction is Likely because your honeymoon phase is over. He's no longer a shiny, new, exciting person to have fun with. Now you're probably grasping to find conversation topics

    Did his appearance change any?

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    • I blame myself, I chose to be with him for his character. I knew that his communication wasn't what i wanted, no i have dated way better looking men, and i just feel like i am settling. But he is a good man. Its rare and thats what made me stay.

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    • Honestly if he's as caring as you say, he'll be willing to try to make it work as well.
      If you have any other questions let me know!

    • I just followed you

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