Girls, Can anyone help me to understand what she is feeling when she says she is feeling overwhelmed, and can't love me, is she getting scared maybe?

Girl broke up with me 6 months into a relationship. She had a lot going on, with a divorce plus her kids and her business. Said she just didn't have anymore to give. We continued to go out on dates, seeing each other much less, intimacy continued to build, eventually we were back to kissing and making love. But this time we were living our own lives

I decided to invite her out to my place to make dinner, and basically a night for her, since she is a 24 hour mother. I made it very nice, spent 6 hours making dinner, having it ready as she showed up, lights out, candles lit. You could tell she loved it. The night was perfect. That evening I asked if she was happy with how things were, if things were good seeing less of each other, she said they were great. Had sex that night, and she initiated sex right when we woke that morning, I made her breakfast before she had to go home. She was very affectionate the whole time

things had been what most people would consider a relationship, but I wasn't referring to things that way, I was trying to keep things just enjoying each other's company, not giving up. The reason for this was she had been in a marriage with a narcissist, so had some issues to overcome. A week after the last date she texted me saying she was feeling overwhelmed, that she doesn't want to hurt me, but currently just can't feel like she's falling in love, she can't be in a relationship with anyone, that she's got to break down the walls around her heart and feels bad for me to have to wait on her. It hurt, because I know she cares about me, and am certain she loves me. I have told her many times I'm not expecting her to be giving any love right now, knowing what she's dealing with, but that I'm here for support, as I know she'd do the same.

what gets to me is that each of these time have been at times things seemed great, and that she was reciprocating love. Not asking how to get her back, just wondering if anyone may be able to help me understand things


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What Girls Said 1

  • Women think about things... a lot. So I think that she thought about the two of you when you weren't around. She can't resist you though, but she has too many personal issues to deal with before she can give you what you need.

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    • I've done some research into things, as her marriage was emotionally abusive, and in those situations, it is common to emotionally detach, which can become long term and require professional help. I think in a way I can understand what is going on, though not know how it feels. It is neither of our fault, and I don't think I can be of any help in her sorting things out. I think all I can do is step out of the picture for now and leave her alone. It's not easy, but i think she will just feel pressure if I'm staying in touch with her, she knows I love her very much

    • Yeah, I think you used the correct words to describe this situation. And I completely agree with you. She has to figure herself out before she let's you back in.
      I wish you the best though. I hope that things change in the good way.

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