Am I setting myself up to be in a bad situation in the long run if I don't get out now prior to marriage?

I'm 28 and engaged but unhappy with him and have been for awhile. I've asked him to change the things that are the deal breakers for me but he keeps going back to his old ways. The thought of going back out in the dating world at 28 scares me so much. So it has crossed my mind to just deal with it and look past what is bothering me. My fear is things will get worse after being married. Is this a bad idea to "settle"?

On a side note I've never had trouble finding guys to date but I haven't been single for over 3 years hence why I'm worried. I have a lot going for me but it's still scary to end things then go back out in the dating world.


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What Guys Said 4

  • either you can be unhappy probably divorce later or end it now and not have to waste more of your time on a dead relationship.

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    • I guess how do I know for sure that it's a dead relationship? I just wish he would get his crap together so there wouldn't be issues.

    • You said you've lost attraction to him and you've already told him but he doesn't do anything about it. Unless you're ok with getting married to someone who you don't feel attracted to it's dead. Maybe have another talk with him and be sure to express exactly how much it all means to you then see what he does but don't marry him until you are sure.

  • It will get worse dated a girl for 15 years and married for 4 out of that and the best thing about that was that i actually got a chance to find out who i was what i like dislike my failures and time to fix and be a better person. the key here is dont be scared.

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    • Don't be scared of dating again or getting married to him?

    • My opinion and experience is both if you marry him with problems that are already knocking on your door. Its gonna get worse fix the issues before getting married think about it... And if it doesn't work then dont be scared to date again because you'll end up running back to something you already know and feel safe and comfortable but will never go anywhere but im circles.

  • bad sex?

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    • No but not having much sex at all as i have lost attraction to him. He stopped going to the gym, gained a bunch of weight and just doesn't seem to care about how he looks at all. I on the other hand take really good care of myself and haven't gained any bad weight since we started dating.

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    • someones curious

    • what? naw, its just for your benefit is all

  • lol.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I use to feel like this. But had to realize that I was in a toxic relationship. You didn't go into detail here so I dont necessarily whats going on. Whether its a communication issue, or him talking to other females. Its unclear. But any relationship that you form should be upbuilding and uplifting you. It should be about growth. And the two of you growing together as a couple. If you are feeling that this is an ongoing issue I would consider doing a self reflection on what it is what you want in your partner. And why it is that you fear being single.

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    • It basically is that i have lost attraction to him. He stopped going to the gym, gained a bunch of weight and just doesn't seem to care about how he looks at all. I on the other hand take really good care of myself and haven't gained any bad weight since we started dating. I think why I'm nervous about dating is thinking I'm older now, 28 and I'm sure a lot of the good guys are picked over.

  • Yes you are, so don't go through with the marriage if you have any doubts.

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    • Currently the wedding has been postponed as we were set to marry at the end of this year.

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