Do men realise what they have lost in a girl?

My ex and I were due to marry in 3months. In all honesty, I wasn't happy but I didn't hav the courage to call it off myself. We were together for only 8 months & it was a long distance relationship. I'd say our good times lasted the first 3months. I wanted more time in getting to know him but he was adamant on marrying asap & settling down. I agreed. As time went, I realised he had no respect for me, arguments became frequent & he resorted to calling me derogatory names each time. Names included "retard", "imbecile." I explained how I felt but he would say "I hav to call u names because I can't hit a girl; Name calling isn't personal 2 me; ur over sensitive." On many occasions, he'd demand a break away from me. He even used to check out other girls in front of me. He wanted me to become more modest with my clothing even though I don't wear revealing clothes. The last few weeks of our break up became really bad. I put him first in absolutely everything, gave him so much, recreated his CV, made lots of effort to go see him. He was so ungrateful. During this time I was realising he wasn't ready 4 commitment as his decisions didn't consider me. I wasn't going 2 get a proper honeymoon bcoz of his messy finances but he was going abroad for a stag. We decided a break for 2 wks and 2 days in I created an Instagram a/c. I went to follow him, I saw that he had liked a girl's pic who was wearing next 2 nothing. I felt so hurt. How hypocritical. Next, I made a mistake which I feel so disappointed in myself 4. He'd told me something in confidence & in anger/upset, I exposed this secret to his dad. Since then, he has blocked me on whatsapp & doesn't want anything to do with me. I've told him countless times I'm sorry, but he doesn't want me. I've been texting him quite a lot & now he is saying I am harrassing him.
My question: will he ever realise what he has lost in me? He'd told me on the day I returned his belongings to him that other than the mistake I'd made, I was perfect.


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What Guys Said 18

  • first off, you were right in needing time to know each other. the first red flag was him wanting to marry someone within a year. another flag is long distance relationships usually don't work out. if someone is looking to marry asap and settle down then they are not looking for love but just pure selfishness. marriage is something that should be treasured by two people who mutually understand and respect each other. not some manipulation and verbally abusive relationship. the way it is going is a possible domestic violence route where he would verbally assault you and degrade you down to worthlessness so he can manipulate you easier. this would just make you very unhappy, sad, depressed, and sense of guilt. there is nothing you have to feel sorry for him, instead you should be sorry for yourself for months/years you've spent with him. as for your question he will not feel sorry for you and will keep doing what he was doing to you before.

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  • Well I evaluated what I lost from my relationship (4 years long) But I doubt this abusive prick would..

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  • Don't text him! Cut off all contact and be happy you made the right decision. You need to move on from him. He honestly probably won't. He even blamed you for the end when it wasn't your mistaken it was his! He sounds like a dumbass quite honestly.

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  • Worry about you getting over him. Stop texting him. Get yourself happy. Go out with the girls. Find yourself a new guy, get a new friend. Whatever you hahave to do put him out of your mind you already know youvwerent happy with him. So leave him ALONE. guys do realise if we actually lost someone but that more depends on him and how he felt about you

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  • Why are you even worried? You're far better off without him.

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  • I just realized after my break up it wasn't the right fit. You have to meet the right person at the right time for it to work. If you meet the right person atbrge wrong time, it prob won't work. I think some people are only meant to be in a few chapters of your life while some are meant to be in all of them

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  • No he doesn't. He's an abusive, egotistical, and probably dangerous idiot.

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  • he seems to be a control freak, and I think he have a lot inside than what he shows outside, god probably saved youu from a monster, so thank god and stop thinking of the subject !

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  • I think it's best you break up. Doesn't sound as if you really match.

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  • Yes. Its why I fight so hard to hold onto people and please them in the first place.
    But some people are just awful.
    If I dump someone its for good reason.

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  • If you want to move a chair, first get up from it.

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  • after breaking up, guys tend to think about all the negatives and bad shit about their ex as a coping mechanism, but in time we realize exactly what weve lost and how much we miss it.

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  • he dodged a bullet, and you are retarded because you saw the signs and decided to stay anyways. no pity on the brain dead.

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  • Be brave. This time shall too pass.

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    • I hope so. Do you think he will ever realise and be sad at what he's lost in me?

    • truly speaking , a nice person would never have done such a thing... so he being sorry is a difficult scenario. Sorry. If you wish We can talk in private.

    • He might or he might not,
      every person is different.
      He doesn't care about you at all. You should move on.

  • yeah when she said I don't have periods a since 8 weeks

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  • you dont fit 4 each other

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  • I'm sure both of you will be fine without each other.

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  • No. We understand what we want to get rid off as soon as possible.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It sounds like he's not ready for a relationship anyway with everything you said, you also said you're not ready for marriage and he wants it asap, he has no respect for you, etc. You made one mistake and he says "I want nothing to do with you".

    You're better off without him.

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  • Read this, it helped me. :)

    www.thisisyourconscience.com/.../

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  • Both of you screwed up big time. He was being way too demanding and possessive and you betrayed his trust and told his dad something that he clearly told you was a secret. Move on girl sounds to me like a very toxic relationship from begin with.

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