My ex boyfriend says he's happy with his new girlfriend

OK my ex and I broke up in April after over 5 years and I found out recently that his girlfriend that he claimed he had only been with since April he was seeing her since January so he cheated on me so I have told him over and over again to leave me alone and stop calling and texting me or showing up at my office and house and he keeps doing this why won't he leave me alone if he's so happy with her why does he keep telling me he misses me and that I'm the only one he can talk to and got sad when I told him I was seeing someone else so my problem is why is he still trying to keep me in his life when he cheated on me and I keep telling him I hate him and want nothing to do with him? he says he doesn't love her and that its not the same so why did you lie about cheating on me and about your relationship that you have with her now? also keep telling me he loves me its so confusing and annoying please help I can't take this anymore!

The topic of this she be my ex says he's not happy with his g/f


Most Helpful Girl

  • He cheated on you. End of story. It doesn't matter why he keeps doing the stupid things he is doing. Ignore him or file a restraining order. You could also tell your boss that he is disrupting your work environment and they will keep him from going to your work. (I worked at target and some guy was following me around after work, I told my boss and they took care of it.) If he doesn't love her, that's his problem not yours. Your relationship with him is over, thank goodness. Do not take him back by any means. 5 years or not. At this point he has become a cheating stalker and all you have to do is tell the police he is stalking you. It may seem a little overboard but your safety and personal well-being are very important.

    • Seems like she still has FEELINGS for him and didn't mean anyone of the words she's spoken. Anyhow I totally agree with you !

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    • If the cops calling him didn't scare him then I'm going to just keep ignoring his

      calls and texts and if it continues for a long period of time I will contact his girlfriend but a restraining order isn't really necessary I'm not scared of him I just want him to leave me alone and move on with my life I don't call him or text him at all and as far as getting back with him never he broke all trust I had in him and trust takes a long time to earn and seconds to shatter and can never be fixed

    • Scared or not it works lol. I just figure it would be a quick fix.

What Guys Said 9

  • Why do you want to understand the reasons for his irrational and immature behavior? Do you want to be a psychologist?

    Clearly he has psychological problems and needs to see a psychologist. Do not try to think about why he is behaving like this, you will go mad.

    • No not a psychologist just curious of why someone who is with someone else says how miserable they are and unhappy will stay with that person and not leave the other person alone that they screwed over because if he was so happy with me he wouldn't have cheated on me plus it really annoying these phone calls and texts I was just looking for some outside point of views

    • Did you tel him to stop?

      & btw sumina7........if she DID want to be a psychologist....then would you allow the questioning?

    • Thank you toulouse I have repeatly asked for him to stop and luckly so far maybe from all the unreturned calls back and unanswered texts maybe he's finally gotten the point that there is. Nothing for us to talk about anymore plus male answerer I don't think there would be soany open question forums if people weren't just looking for a point of view or opinions to there questions it doesn't mean you have to be a psychologist to seek an answer from outside sources I appreciate all the feed back

  • Block his phone numbers, block his e-mails, and block his texting. Don't let him trap you into having any sort of conversation with you. There is no up side.

    • Thank you! I've been ignoring him and it seems to have been working and I sent him a text a few weeks ago asking him to stop trying to contact me there is no reason for me to speak to him ever again I don't think his relationship is going very well now bat he doesn't have me to help with all his problems I heard that he moved in with her and hr family so I'm sure after like 5months of dating and living together it's going really well haha!! not!!

  • cuz he threw away a probably really good relationship of five years probably for some sexual gratification with this girl and then realized she wasn't half the woman you were and now he's realizing that he f**ked up. in either case, like previous people said, if he's done it once he'll do it again so don't give in.

    • Thank you!! That's exactly what I think too!! And I don't give second chances to cheater

    • No prob :) and chances are you're probably some guys dream girl but ended up with an asshole. it always happens lol

    • That is so sweet I really appreciate it I've been feeling like such garbage since I found all this out and worthless and you made me feel so much better so thank you so much

  • Simple. He is happy being with her. But he was happier when he had both of you. He is a cheat. He is trying to setup a situation where he is with her, but has you as a booty call.

    So far as not leaving you alone after your repeated requests and demands for him to... he is also a control freak. Unless he is physically/legally forced to leave you alone, he will have to decide for himself that he doesn't want to be around you. Often times in this situation you can use a form of reverse psychology on him. You can (if you want) act like you LOVE having him around, but treat him like sh*t when he is there. When he isn't there call and (just short of) harass him and beg him to come by and do this or that for you. Don't ever give him what he wants which is sex. Sooner or later, he will get tired of being your foot stool and leave you alone. And he will fully leave you alone because HE chose to. It wasn't from you telling him to.

  • restraining order

    • So far he has seemed to get the hint after I sent a text telling him we have nothingbto talk about and can not and will not ever been friends and that he should have been honest with me and broke up with me instead of being a lying cheating asshole and not even telling me himself I found out through his friends

    • Ya hopefully that's the end of that

  • because he freaking loves you

    • I seriously doubt that if you love someone you don't cheat on them and not tell them I had to find out from other people which is crappy instead of him teling me himself and being honest which I would have been mad but would have respected his honesty and would have forgiven him eventually but this situation is a big mess.he kept telling me all these months that I'm the only one for him and blah blah blah when he was seeing this girl behind my back and which I seen her and ICK! she's nasty

  • dam that sucks hun

  • All I know is that if he cheated on you once, he will probably do it again. Don't give in.

  • Restraining order on the player. Tell him to leave or you'll call the police.

    • Thank you for your answer after a month of ignoring him and sending him a text of that we have nothing to talk about and I don't want to be friends he's backed off so maybe he's got the hint that he doesn't deserve to know me but I know karma will give Him what he truly deserves so at the moment I don't think a restraining order is necesssary

What Girls Said 14

  • IGNORE HIM. You are only letting him get to you because you allow it. If you do not take phone calls = ignore texts - avoid him in public -- You are not confused. HE IS. Don't be his sloppy seconds. He cheated on you ( HE WILL DO IT AGAIN) and if you take this jerk back - he will know it's ok to cheat since you forgave him. Don't be confused by his behavior He's playing you. He wants his cake and to eat it, too. SAY NOTHING.. NO CONTACT. That is the ONLY way to get rid of him... unless you want him back -- and if you do? You will get backon that roller coaster and ride it one more time til he finds another girl on the other side of that fence who looks like greener grass.. You see what I mean? He is disrespecting YOU. DO NOT ALLOW THAT. Find a guy who adores you.. and ONLY you!

  • Yeah well you have two stories:

    1. He f***ed up, he cheated and he regret it after he got what he wanted, which is to sleep around or whatever and now he wants you back after he got it out of his system.

    2. He f***ed up, he doesn't give a sh*t about what he did, he wants to keep both of you and he knows you love him so you might accept the situation and be the 2nd girl.

    Eitherway I would say screw him, He is a cheater obviously.. he did it once he will do it again.. so just forget about him and tell him to f*** off!

    • Thanks for replying but the funny part about all of this is I don't think he even knows I know he cheated on me but every time he called me since our breakup he was always saying how sorry he was and how he loves me and blah blah blah and make the comment well at least I was honest with you and didn't cheat on you ya he's a loser!!!

  • He realized that he f***ed up bad! He's keeping that other girl around in hopes of making you jealous and just in case things don't work out with you so he doesn't end up alone. Tell him your going to call the police or file for a restraining order if he doens't leave you alone. By the way, I respect you for not running back to him like some girls would.

  • pfft. show him that he's out of the picture. just don't care. I don't talk to ex boyfriends. they are out of the picture forever. one guy I dated last summer didn't really do much to SHOW he cared and he's now saying he moved on etc and met some girl online and it's whatever. the guy is a douche and you know you deserve better. so say good bye and move on.

  • I'm in a similar situation .. me and my boyfriend of a little over 3 years broke up in November, I have kind of moved on, started talking to someone since January and we're still talking, but my ex keeps telling me he's waiting on me and he loves me, etc. Your ex now realizes how much you meant to him, or all the good things about you that the new girl lacks, and that's why he is missing you. This almost always happens, people don't know what they have until it's gone, and that's what's happening with your ex. Honestly, if he can cheat on you after 5 years, that just proved to you that he's not the one and there's someone else out there for you. Ignore EVERYTHING from him, his calls, texts, if he comes to your house ( which is a bit extreme ) don't even open the door, nothing. If he's coming to your work, tell your boss or get your security to take him out .. he shouldn't be doing that in the first place.

    • THank you all for your answers and advise I really appreciate it alot

  • Yeah, he thought the grass was greener on the other side but when he hopped the fence he discovered the other side had some weeds. Ignore, block and forget about him. Don't even try to figure out why he's doing what he's doing or what messages he's sending you because you'll only end up driving yourself insane and making your life miserable. I'm not sure if you just told him you were seeing someone else to get him to back off or if you actually are seeing someone else. If you are, good luck with your new guy! :o)

    • An update he called me and I answered he started crying and apologizing about how badly he had treated me and I didn't deserve it and he was seriously sorry and how much he missed me I said too much time has gone by that I forgive you but I'm not dumb enough to forget and he broke up with his girfriend I guess awhile ago too

  • simply he got bored during the relationship and realized he f***ed he's trying to get you back but keeping his new girl on the side incase you reject him again,CLEARLY he's not happy with the new girl.

    change all your contacts and block him on any websites

    and if he comes to your work then threaten to call the police if it gets bad...

  • because he does love you...he f-ed up and regrets it. Just keep doing what you are doing...and if it really bothers you tell him you are going to take action to make him stop...i.e. police or telling his current gf.

  • I wouldn't talk to him until you broke it off with his gf. If he is showing up at your house and texting you need to put a stop to that. That is not right for him to be doing that to his gf. He needs to be a real man and talk to her about how he not happy with her NOT you.

  • Don't believe nothing he says he probably been cheating with her longer then that he only wants you because you moved on. Men always say they are not happy in their current relationship just to sleep with you again thinking you will feel sorry for him and want him back girl run as fast as you can anyone can say I love you but does he mean it I bet if you saw the other girl or your spoke it would be a completely different story don't fall for it move on. My mans ex called him the other day he told me that he told her he was in a relationship now in can't have her calling when he told me what he said to her I didn't believe him I wanted to speak to her personally but he had already deleted her number like I told him to do so I didn't get the opportunity to speak with her wish I had he said he hasn't seen the girl in years I said so why is she calling you now he said my number hasn't change in maybe she just wanted to see how I was. We are from Frederick, MD she is from Baltimore

  • You might have to take out a restraning order on him to keep him away from you. If you really care about the new guy in your life you will find a way to get the ex out of yours.

  • he messed up he probaly regrets and wants his treasure back

    • Thank you for your advise I really appreciate it!!!

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    • Exactly!!!

    • Glad I could help!!!!!

  • Here's the big question, do you love him, or just hate him for hurting you, if you took him back could you ever trust him again, or live with yourself if he betrayed your trust. plus he's emotionally cheating on his current girlfriend by sending you these things behind her back. and not exactly showing you how much he's improved! I can't sit there and weigh up the pros and cons because I wasn't there for the smile that made you go googey inside or the devastation when you broke up. that's something you need to weigh up, because at the end of the day, you have to live with your decision. life is a path and you need to pick the paths heading the right direction, whether this is a big one or a little one I don't know, but it's going to lead you to your future,and is he part of your future?

    • Your so right thank you but I don't see a future with a liar and cheater if he's doing this behind her back he's always going to be a cheater and I'm better off I deserve someone so much better than that my hurt feeling will eventually fade but he will always have to live with his guilt and continue to bring that mess and misery to every girl Here after I really appreciate all the help ladies thanks