I'm scared to call off the engagement because it hurts me to think he will date someone new. Does that mean there is still hope?

I'm just not happy with him now but when I think through scenarios it really bugs me thinking that he will date someone. I still care about him but almost more as a friend. The spark isn't what it used to be. Is it normal to feel a bit jealous thinking he will eventually get with someone else?

We have had many talks and he isn't changing what is bothering me. I just don't want to make the wrong decision and regret later.


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What Guys Said 3

  • I honestly think you probably grew into a routine where you see him and you probably don't even have feelings for him ur just used to having him around. it's better to call it off now better than later because what if you end up cheating on him or vice versa

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    • I agree 100% as I have no interest sexually with him. I'd never cheat because that is just awful to do to someone but its getting worse and worse. I'm so down and out and stressed. Thinking of all of the what ifs.

    • i completely comprehend ur point of view. because my bbys mom and i just broke up today and she was the same way ur descriving. and it hurts. u should DM me

  • Honestly? No. If ur thinking about calling it off, there's little chance either of u will be happy in the long run.

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    • I agree but it's just scary to know if I'm making the right decision.

    • If it was the right thing u wouldn't doubt it

  • No thats not normal, you obviously care and are really gonna have to sort out your feelings here.

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    • Well when you're with someone for over 3 years a d share all of your feelings it's hard to throw it all away. I just don't know what to do to get the spark back. Being engaged is supposed to be the happiest moment of my life but it's not. I'm miserable.

    • Its definitely tough. But sounds like its a small string that ties you compared to how you feel. Whatever you do is gonna effect the entire course of your life. Some people settle and are happy others not so much. Some find happiness in a different place and feel like the a whole new world opens and others regret their choices til they die. It's definitely tough.

    • Good perspective. This summarizes the pros and cons in my mind. I just can't figure out what direction to go with it.

What Girls Said 3

  • What is bothering you?

    The honeymoon phase does end, just ensure that what you are feeling, that lost of spark, isn't just the honeymoon phase ending. Hm, as for if you were to be jealous of him eventually finding someone else, not necessarily. Right, a child can have his favorite toy, and then his birthday comes around and he has a new favorite toy, but try to take his old toy (that he doesn't even play with) away from him or make him share it, and the child would be upset and say no, it's mine. It's possible that's what you are feeling, you feel possessive, he is your's, your fiance, so you get jealous at the idea of him with someone else.

    I think what you should think about are the things that bother you, if they are serious concerns and he isn't changing, then you should definitely reconsider marrying him. Are those concerns deal breakers.

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  • Relationships have ups and downs. You two have to be there for each other and work through things. If he isn't willing to change and you are truly unhappy, move on. Maybe then he will see what he is going to be missing out on. If it was meant to be it will happen.

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  • If you aren't happy now unfortunately it won't get any better! Best to call it off if that's the case. It doesn't mean you don't care about him but no need to get married :)

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