How to convince yourself that your ex is never coming back?

I have read shit tons of articles on how to get your ex back, what to do what not to do. Nothing seems to work and eventually all you're left is with moving on. So my question here is how do you convince yourself into thinking your ex is never coming back? How do you break this hope for good? I seriously need some answers because I am at a point where I am losing myself and taking this heartbreak harder than ever! Please help.


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What Guys Said 10

  • You need to realise that every relationship is affected by choices. If they chose to leave you once there must have been some thought behind it, and there's no guarantee that he won't leave you again. Most relationships are about compatibility and the determination to hold on when you don't think you can. Instead of hoping for them to come back. Work on yourself pick up a new hobby. Travel. Soon enough you may end up meeting someone else who will make you think "Why was I ever with him?". Keep faith and move on. Life has a lot more ahead than you are holding on to.

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  • try and indulge in some activities. Hiking, etc. More importantly, try to get some pet. It helps a lot.

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  • look everyone have a different opinion. but at the end you are the one taking decision. and let me tell you one thing that whatever you choose to do just dont gone regret it. thats the key for happiness

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  • simple it is...
    accept the fact he is gone and he did it knowingly.
    and you deserve a better life..
    i can help you more if you want to talk.. reply

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  • It will only take time. How much time? I don't know.

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  • Realize wasting your energy on this person is like sending shit into a black hole and you need to send that energy elsewhere to find someone else you can ACTUALLY be with. You're just passing up actual chances by wasting your energy on your ex.

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  • In my experience, fuck his best friend. Breaks all emotional ties. But that's just me. Good luck.

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  • You don't "convince" yourself you accept the fact that your ass isn't wanted.

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  • My honest philosophy:
    I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

    An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...

    Breakups happen for a reason...

    I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...

    Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?

    Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

    ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

    This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.

    Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more.

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What Girls Said 14

  • By asking yourself, how do I love myself enough to know that I am worthy and capable of finding a man better than the one I can't seem to let go?

    A man who sticks by my side for better or worse and helps me help this relationship progress and grow. Once you figure out that answer, break ups will feel like a lesson learned rather than a heart break.

    If you are wondering about a man and when he might be coming back or if he is ever going to come back, you have lost control in yourself as a woman and allowed yourself to become emotionally and mentally dependent on someone else rather than yourself.

    During this time, work on you. Help strengthen your weaknesses and accept that things and people in life aren't forever. We are taken from each other every day and that's not in our control.

    When you think a man is the reason for your security, sanity, and happiness, that's when you'll feel like you lost yourself.

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    • 7d

      wow your opinion really hit me hard! thanks!!! i am just so hurt that he loved me once so much he even came back to me and proposed and now after the breakup i reached out to him after 3 months because i got into a crazy car crash and he said i am sad that you didn't die, i wish you had. it really hurt me so much the reason for his hate is that he thinks i spread lies about him to his friends. This is not true at all. i tried to explain it to him he thinks i am in the wrong. i dont know what to do? if i do back off and do my own thing do you think he will come back?

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    • 4d

      i dont go to his gym. its just the thoughts that he is always on my mind

    • 4d

      He will be. That's how it is after abuse. You have to be stronger though. One day you'll feel too drained out to think about him.

  • I think it's more you have to have the mindset you don't want them to come back. Trust me, having been through it, you broke up for a reason. Clearly something wasn't working. As soon as you start to look at it positively I. e. Look at what I learnt from this experience, I'm much better off after the fact, that's when you'll start to move on.

    I spent a year chasing my ex only to realise how much of a dick he was and how much I change do to try and suit him. I was scared of being alone, but slowly and surely started to see things that, 'in the moment' I didn't see before. I realised I was a Better person than that. Get yourself back on the bandwagon and you'll be fine. Go on tinder, it's always a bit of fun haha... you never know who you'll meet!

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    • 4d

      How long ago was ur break up? And did you ended up finding someone else? And did your ex ever come back to you?

    • 4d

      This was a few years ago now.
      Yeah I did after... actually on tinder haha
      No and I'm really glad they didn't. Only after did I realise how much time I wasted chasing them for no reason

    • 4d

      oh wow yeah i know i can move on but i am unable to do so... we supposed to get married. it just hurts how he is accusing me that i made fake profile and talked shit about him to his friends. i just dont know anymore :(

  • It took me a few years to realize he wasn't coming back. But now I'm thankful he didn't. He's not good in relationships. He's a good friend and father, but that's it.

    I'm sorry if you're having a hard time. My divorce was the single most difficult thing I've ever been through. I was raising my daughter who at the time was 8 months old. Over the period of the next year, although I took care of her, I do not remember that time. I have pictures I took that don't even jog my memory. That is the only thing that still makes me mad and sad 9 years later. So much lost time with my daughter.

    Hang in there. It will get better.

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  • Hi, so it sounds like you have tried to get him back? who initiated the break up? how long ago? has he given any little signs he may come back? What would you say is the most hurtful thing he has done to you? xx

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    • He initiated the break up 4 months ago. I thought it was due to a misunderstanding we were going to get married and all and out of the blue he broke up giving his mom as an excuse. Then he told his friends I was pressuring him into marriage which was again not true because he broke up first time in November and for a whole month he didn't talk to me and he came back and pursued me again and said wanted to marry me. Anyway so I reached out to him in March and he was very rude and mean to me he called me out on my career saying I am a loser and he makes 6 figures. Then I was also mean and said some mean things to him too and he blocked me everywhere. Then again a week ago I got into a pretty bad accident and I emailed him and he said to stop and that he is sad I didn't die and he wishes I was dead. He also said I was spreading lies and rumors about him that he sleeps around and is a rapist. I was very hurt and now I just wanna move on. I don't know what's going on anymore or how to even explain

  • Keep calm and move on... He ll come back for sure

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  • The question is, why do you want him back? Everything happens for a reason, best to move on to someone more deserving!

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  • I've been in that denial phase for a year. I did everything, become friends with him again and eventually try to rebuild what was broken.
    But what woke me up was when he actually showed signs of interest to my best friend while knowing I still liked him. I realized that it was a losing battle and I have to give up for myself.

    Sometimes you just have to see how happy he is with someone else because he wouldn't be that way with you again :(

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  • Date other men and find another crush or lover, simple really :-)

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  • Omg I did the same thing as you a year ago! I even subscribed to a daily email on how to get your ex back. Nothing works, like what you said.
    I suggest you go out with friends. Lots of friends. You'll slowly forget him and hopefully (I'm sure you will!) find someone better :)

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  • What I do after a break up is cut off all ties completely. I delete his number and erase him from all mu social media. You can also make a couple of exciting changes to your life, doesn't have to be anything crazy. You can always talk to new people to get him out of your mind.

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  • I have been in a 8 year relationship and months ago we broke up. It didn't hit me till the 3rd day. I was devastated. even thot about ending my life. I forgot how how to live. 2 months passed by.. i still wasn't able to stand on my own. My ex completely cut off all ties with me. Which killed me even more. Finally after 85 days, i stared talking to someone (mainly to forget my ex).. something magical happened, this person was so similar to my ex that he was able to make me forget him. But i found out this isn't loving him but my excuse to find my ex in someone else. So slowly i forced myself to know this guy better and like him for who he is.

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    • Finally i got my life on track. Its been 4 months. And i am finally happy. Last Sunday, my ex messaged me on facebook. Saying he misses and wishes there was a way for us to get back together. Even in some parallel universe 😂
      As much as my heart jumped, i cannot hurt this person who helped me through out this situation. Anyways my point is, you cannot get over or forget someone who you love so dearly. Its not possible for most human brains. But it doesn't give u an excuse to stop your life! Get out there. Find a person who has similar interests as u. Try to become friends with them.. than slowly think about relationship or what ever. Reason why i am saying become friends 1st : when you are friends, expectations are less so that will give u the window to share all your feelings etc and which in most cases create stronger bonds etc.
      If you don't force yourself to move on... you will be stuck forever. Cut him off completely. Get him out of your head!! Get a good night sleep!

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    • I am
      Not sure where this all coming from? And I tried to tell him I didn't do any fake profiles to talk to his friends or whatever he claims and to that he goes I don't believe you now get lost. I have been hurt so much it just kills me I got into an accident twice after the break up and last week I completely totaled my car and was at the hospital. I really need help and he's unable to understand. Do you think if I do my thing and move on he will come back?

    • 7d

      Im sorry to hear that. Don't do this to yourself. But once he sees u move on, trust me it will trigger something in him which will most likely lead him to get in touch with u. Don't do it for him.. do it for yourself. Also if he loved you even a bit, he will remember you and will try to contact you. It's just a matter of time. Don't lose hope.

  • Get a rebound-fwb! It's okay as long as your rebound doesn't expect more from you and if you don't accidentally fall in love with him.

    What also works a little: tell your girlfriends everything about him that you can't stand. Research has shown that talking positively about a crush with friends increases the amount of feelings you have for that crush. Convincingly doing the opposite may help reducing feelings instead.

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    • Girl he isn't talking to me because of that because he is assuming that i spread lies and rumors about him that he's a hoe and also a rapist. I reached out to him last week coz I was in a bad car crash and he said he's sad that I didn't die and wished I was dead..

  • I had this, I just couldn't get over him. But I did. I discovered this site named postmalesyndrom and it really helped me. I will leave some articles of her below and I hope it helps you too.

    postmalesyndrome.com/.../

    postmalesyndrome.com/.../

    postmalesyndrome.com/.../

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  • I was in this situation in the past. I can understand the pain of not enjoying life and just getting through each day until you think he'll come back. The only way I finally came to the realisation that he wasn't coming back was by asking him out straight, did he ever see a future where we'd be together again and he said no. The pain is very difficult, it will feel like the initial break up again for a bit but after that it really does get better and a new wonderful happy life will begin. Never let a guy tell you he doesn't want you more than once. Be strong girl 💪❤️

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    • He has some misunderstanding that i am spreading rumors about him after the break up. I reached out to him again because i got into a very bad car crash and to that he said he hates me a lot and he is sad that i didn't die and he wished i died. I was so hurt, he said i spread rumors saying he's a hoe and a rapist. i never did and i am not sure where is this all coming from? i dont know whats going on anymore. i feel so lost and hurt...

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    • Remove yourself from him completely. He is extremely unhealthy for you right now so drop him from your life completely and go out and be a success in your own. Try new things, reach your goals, be happy and that will be the greatest revenge of all. Trust me, get away from that guy NOW. Know your worth, never low somebody to make you feel so small.

    • I was going to be married to him that's why this is hurting me so much. He met my parents and all we even decided the date. This is really hurtful how he went from respecting me so much to hating me like this. I feel so lost and my soul is just so tired at this point.. I have not being concentrating on my life I have become a wreck after this break up. This was my second accident I have gained weight I didn't even apply to grad schools :( how can I forget him every time I go out I think of him. It's like I am there but cannot seem to forget him. He's on my mind constantly. I miss what we used to have before.. those memories and everything.. this is painful :(

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