I notice I am trying to change him... does this mean we should break up?

i have known this guy for over a year now. We become really close... I wouldn't say we were friends but we were always romantically attracted to each other. We have tried dating on and off for this year. Someone always walked away and the other came back. We are finally stable and have been dating for 4 months. He is my first real boyfriend. He is the guy that made me change my mind about a lot of things.

There are are so many things I like about him and then things I don't. I love him and I want to be with him but I find myself often trying to change him. Like his style, I make suggestions about what he should do with his hair... or how I would love for him to grow out his facial hair. And then sometimes I wish he was different. He does stuff that can be very immature and questionable he's 21 I am 20.

im confused as to what I should do. Lately I haven't been able to really see a future with him. He's been distant and focused. Stressed out and not the same guy I fell in love with. Maybe this will pass...

though everytime i think of breaking up with him I cry because I can't imagine being with someone else.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Could his stress be from you? Many people don't realize that a contributing factor to their significant other's stressed demeanor could also be themselves.

    I think that people should stop expecting perfection out of those they're dating, and they'll probably see that their relationships are much happier. Nobody has a reason to change how somebody decides to style their hair or by what clothing they wear, etc. To attempt otherwise kind of suggests you're not satisfied with how he looks, and if that is important to you, then yes, it might be time to separate and try your luck with a different guy who looks how you want him to.

    It's good that you realize that you're trying to change him, as this means you can try to prevent the immaturity within yourself as well.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • yes. it does. You will find someone who is right for you, don't worry

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What Guys Said 4

  • People change in a relationship anyway. It's normal. But you shouldn't try to chamge him, you should try to chamge yourself (i mean the aspects that clearly bother him) and he should focus on doing the same. That's how a healthy relationship works

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  • women expects a man to change, a man wants women to remain the same. if he loved you, he will make it up to you , just do not be a bitch about it always knocking head with voice. give him time

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  • If he is acting immature that is totally natural he is only 21. I am 32 and still act immature.

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  • If you can't accept him the way he is then it's better to just break up with him...

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