Boyfriend told me he feels like he is settling with me, what do I do?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year now. When we first met, things were amazing. 3 months into the relationship, reality hit. My boyfriend informs me of this mystery person who is stalking him, my ex tries to blackmail me, I lost my job. Also should mention I am a single mom. My boyfriend asks me and my son to move in with him.

This lead to us fighting more - about everything. It's become abusive in many forms. After a week of getting along, he tells me he feels like he is settling.

I fear that that he feels obligated to me since he moved me and my son in, and regrets that decision but is loyal and feels badly and is too afraid to break up out of fear of hurting my son.

What do do I do with this info? He tells me if can change then he wouldn't feel this way, but me as I am now, isn't good enough.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Your choices are to take advantage of his loyalty, stay together, and prepare for a life of misery, or to discuss an amicable way of parting ways that minimizes the stress on you and your child.

    This situation illustrates why you should not let a significant other be involved in your child's life until you know that you want to make things permanent with the SO. The attachments of your child and SO complicate every decision that you make about your relationship and this could have been avoided. Learn a lesson from this mistake, become self-supporting, and avoid repeating this scenario.

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    • I am self supporting. I have found a new job and even while unemployed was able to financially sustain myself and my son without needing any of his financial support.
      I agree with your overall opinion. What makes it hard is that he says he loves me and wants to marry me just wants me to build a life of my own. I'd love to make new friends between working and being full time mom it's hard to find the time. The hours I get to relax are evenings and that's "our" time together.

    • Someone who truly loves you would never say that being with you means that he is settling for less than he thinks he deserves. He may believe that he loves you, and he may make that statement, but this really doesn't sound like love.

  • your situation is really complicated, & take careful steps before breaking up with him, (honestly you can't be with someone who isn't really happy with you & being in a abusive relationship will eventually effect your child too) Parting on good terms would be a wise decision.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Not sure what to say. Why don't you move out and see what happens there? I could never stay with someone who told me that.

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  • I would move out of his place ASAP then decide if you should stay together from there.

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