Do guys put up with crazy women they're not in love with, or at least have feelings for?

[Anonymous]

I’m not key your truck and bust your tail lights out crazy, but I tend to be moody and I know it. I’ve been dating this guy on and off for a couple years. He never ends the relationship; I do (a lot) for various reasons mainly because I don’t think I’m getting what I need from him. He is closed off emotionally via text, email, IM and on the phone but in person he is the most affectionate person I have ever known. However, we don’t see each other much due to demanding jobs and we live about and hour and a half a part. He also doesn’t tell me he loves me or anything of the sort, he tells me he misses me and that he wishes I was with him and that kind of stuff but that’s it.

I constantly change my mind about if I want to be with him or not. I sometimes feel like if he’s not going to give me what I need then I don’t need him but then I miss him and change my mind (see what I mean, a little crazy). One day I told him I didn’t want to see him again and he didn’t respond. He text me the next day to see how my day was going, we were being sweet so I decided I wanted to see him. I told him and he told me I was way too much. I didn’t hear from him until 1:00am when he text me saying “I’m coming to see you this weekend”.

Why does he put up with me? If I knew he felt something for me I’d calm down but the fact that he doesn’t tell me makes it worse. One of my guy friends told me if he didn’t have feelings for me he wouldn’t put up with me and he wouldn’t keep going back. He said guys don’t like drama and only put up with it if they care about someone. When I end it he doesn’t say much, especially now he just gives me some time to cool off then he contacts me and things go back to normal.

[DoggyDude]

He probably loves you (at least to some degree). Though there's a small chance he is just "used" to you and having you around.

Guys don't tend to put up with crap for anything other than love. However, he obviously isn't sure wether your right (which to be fair may be partly to do with you being moody and splitting up with him all the time, though again to be fair you maybe splitting up with him all the time because he's not sure your right.. chicken .. egg...).

WARNING: Eventually any guy will get sick of someone who keeps splitting up with him (UNLESS he NEVER believes you when you say your splitting up OR he was never emotionally invested in the relationship in the first place).

I finished (finally) with my ex girlfriend and what allowed me to move on was all those pained memorys of her splitting up with me (then I was so in love). We remained great friends but I won't ever go back to the cycle of split up or what caused it.

[ShesMygirl]

He keeps coming back. Doesn't that say something? Look...it's sneeky, and a bit underhanded, but if you can learn to do this you can pry open the the most stubbornly closed man. Learn to tickle his ego. I said tickle, not pounce on it. Quit fishing for his feelings...use them.

Talk to your girl friends. Ask them about it. I know when the question comes up, they will see they do it, and don't even realize it.

As with so many endeavors in this life, subtlety is the masters edge.

Hope that helps

[Anonymous]

GIRL, I sound like u. lol. bipolar they call it or crazy but guys still stick to me. its not being cocky. but its the truth

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

Sounds like a guy who doesn't get laid regularly and doesn't want to ruin his one sure thing.

[Asker]

Thanks for the comment, but he's attractive and successful enough to attract women. Women are always coming on to him and they throw themselves at him even on Facebook where I can clearly see what's going on, although he doesn't do anything bad that I can tell. We're both attractive enough people and have no problems in that arena.

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

I don't know when this turned into a comment about you, but ok.

[Anonymous]

I'll let you in on a little 'guy secret':

Crazy chicks are the best in bed!