I want to break up with my boyfriend, but I don't want to hurt him?

I love him,but he always hurts me,misunderstands me,doesn't listen to me,I am hurt.How can I still love him?I want to leave him,but I don't want to hurt him.Hurting is bad.Please,tell me if there is a good way to break up with him,if there is a good way to leave away from him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop trying. Give up. Make him want to leave you.

    Stop telling him things. Stop trying to make him smile. Stop being so responsive when he talks to you. Don't make out with him anymore. Pretend you're very busy. Start talking with other guys, and hanging out with them too.

    Pretend you don't care about what your boyfriend does. Act like he can do anything he wants. Don't show him he can hurt you. Show him that his words are meaningless to you. That you just don't care about him anymore.

    If he doesn't get worried, then it's because he doesn't care about you. If he doesn't care about you, then I don't see why you're worrying about hurting him by a break-up, since he won't get hurt.

    But if he notices you're acting strange, and acts why, then it means he does care. If he asks you why you're acting strange, tell him you don't like the way he's been treating you. Tell him you don't like that he always hurts you, and how he never listens to you.

    If after he realizes this, he still doesn't change, then go ahead and tell him you don't want to see him anymore. Doing this is perfect because this way, it's his own fault and he won't be able to blame you. He's the one who hurt himself, by aggravating you to the point where you felt like leaving him. Also, this way it gives him a chance to redeem yourself and hopefully avoid the break-up by making you want to stay with him.

    • If he's already hurting her, why should she stay?

    • Show All
    • That's kind of true. But remember, women do tend to hint at things. If you've been with someone long enough and you care about them, you'll eventually see when something is bothering them. It may take a little work, but you'll eventually get to the bottom of it. It comes down to how much you care about them.

    • We don't know how long they are together.

      To recognize female 'hints' is for some guys really hard. Actually my friends have no idea what such 'hints' could mean. Men are not women. Some of them need some time to read and encode your 'hints'.

      I have the gift that I can read those 'hints' but maybe just due to the fact that I was just raised by my mother and never had a father so I'm used to 'female lenguage'.

      Btw: Vote for best answer

What Guys Said 10

  • No matter what you're going to hurt him. Stop acting like a girl and act like a woman; respect him enough to be up-front and direct. That'll be what makes it hurt the least.

    • Respect? It doesn't sound like he respects her.

    • Well then obviously the solution is to be as immature as possible and instead of being up-front and moving on, doing everything you can to get back at him and make the situation blow up into the biggest clusterf*** possible

    • Lol. I didn't say that. But I don't think she owes him a thing.

  • You should do as TimeAndTimeAgain advised, it's pretty good what he wrote.

  • once a girl though that I did not understand and misunderstood her , she wrote me a manual , her likes , dislikes, hikups... before you breakup, did you try your best to make him see who you really are and wha you are about ?

    • It seems that he didn't read it.

  • My friends going through the same thing it got so bad that he through his shoe at her, and me taking care of her, beat him up and she doesn't tlk to me anymore. Everyone tells her tht he's a bad boyfriend but she's blinded by his love, I hope you listen too me when I say: BREAK UP WITH HIM

  • Does he love you? Then there is no way, what do you mean by does not listen to you? Does that mean he dissagrees with you? I am shocked that you do not want to hurt him, means you still have a soul and feelings...wow you are a good woman. Something he should appreciate, also is there anything going on in his life that may cause him to be stressed or upset? Did some other woman hurt him or maybe his mother is mean or something? Try to find out what it is that is bothering him because there is no nice way of breaking up with someone. If he is doing things that are abusive then there is no reason to be nice also. And most importantly do you listen to him? One person cannot be above the other in a relationship.

  • give him analsex as a good bye

    it will work

  • ...How Come He's Gonna Get Hurt If He's Always Hurting You...Tell Him The Truth...Tell Him That You Want To Break Up Because Of What He's Doing...N If He Asked For Another Chance...Tell Him That Its His Last One :)

    • Yes,of course,but he still doesn't listen to me.It seems that he didn't read it.

  • Sometimes you need to care about #1, and #1 is you. Yea you'll hurt his feelings, but suck it up and get through it. (easier said than done) Just don't send an email, or text. That is low. Just tell him straight up, "This isn't working, and I don't see myself with you." Something like that.

    Good luck

  • Its easy you get him to break up with you. You become a controlling, nagging, clingy super bitch he will be glad to get rid of you, his feelings don't get hurt and he is the victum...who is happy to be rid of super bitch...maybe you can make a super bitch costume for dramatic effect... wow you could make it into a movie, superbitch new superhero with awsome powers like, ablity to fart on comand, belch, break the code on his phone so you can check all his messages, stalk him in your sleep ... don't forget to accuse him of cheating on you everday... it shows him you are truly psycho...


What Girls Said 8

  • Make sure he is in a good calm mood. Let your friends and family know you are going to break up with him, and make sure you have a safe place to go with them. Just tell him you have to leave and you are sorry.

    He might try very hard to make you stay, but you have to be extremely strong and realize you need to do this for yourself so that you can be happy. Then just leave. There is no easy way, you just have to decide and then do it as calmly as you can.

    • This is good advice if you're determined in breaking up with him, but it does nothing to stop him from getting hurt. If you're going to do this though, be prepared that he is going to try and make you stay, but you have to do everything possible to get away from him if he does this. This is why my advice focuses on trying to make him change his ways. If you give him a chance to change, and he still doesn't, then he won't even have the nerve to ask you to stay when you try to break up with him.

  • Justump his ass. Damn. He's hurt you countless times apparently so why the f*** should you care if you hurt him just once AND stop your pain. Easy answer. Try it. Wow.

  • there will never be a good way to break up,someone is always going to get hurt its ineviatble. the best thing to do is to be honest and say how you feel.

  • impossible, you can't break up with him and NOT hurt him.

    Unless he's been wanting to break up with you too, OR you do something really stupid and embarrass him so that he breaks up with you.

    No hard feelings, right?

  • Girl you need to tell him exactly what you said on here... Tell him exactly how you feel. There is no good way to break up with somebody but you have to do if for your happiness.

  • he hurts you but you're afraid to hurt him? don't be. he deserves it

  • i've been in the same situation. I left my ex and got a new boyfriend I still love and miss my ex even though we constantly argued and he treated me badly but I guess its mainly because he was my first, that causes you to have a emotional bond that can never be broken. I miss him time to time. don't leave him unless you are sure that's what you want and that things can't be fixed

  • I was in that situtaiton where my ex was physically and verbally abusive. I was 25 and living with him. I just left. No explaining anything. Changed all my contact info. I don't think you can do that since you're probably still in high school. I think normalinda has the best suggestion. Tell him when he's calm, let your family and friends know what's going on (even bring some of them along), and be prepared for him to try any means to get you to stay. Just don't stay.