Why is my ex boyfriend so angry when he ended it?

Hi there. I really need a guys honest opinion on this. My partner of 4 years just broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He seemed distant and depressed or perhaps just not happy with me. We have had a pretty intense 4 years living together and lots of ups and downs.

He decided to tell me after a row that he couldn't be with me and our relationship wouldn't work because 'we wanted different things'. I disagreed as the only thing I wanted was him. I know we used to be deeply in love. After days of begging him I moved out with a relative. I have been really at rock bottom grieving over him . Now every time I try and get in touch (I have stopped now) he gets angry with me. He has become really aggressive over texts. He went from being cold to just plain angry. Does this mean he cares, I don't know what I have done to deserve this venom from him all I did was love him completely.

Why do guys turn nasty when breaking up with a girl. I also need him back in my life. I can't bear the thought of not seeing him again after 4 years together . I appreciate any advice xxx


Most Helpful Girl

  • I know you want a guys opinion, but after reading what you wrote I had to reply. You see, when my ex boyfriend broke from me, he got angry and stuff, cos I kept calling him and texting him. He said he wanted to be left alone and to give him some space. But I wanted to be with him and he was distant and cold towards me. It was something that I couldn't understand.

    Thats why I can relate to what you are going through. The thing is you need to give him space and not bombard him with texts and calls. Don't cry and get upset as that will make you appear clingy and needy. You may have done nothing wrong, but he wants out and needs some time to consider things or the next step in his life. You have to wait for him to contact you, but if every time you do speak with him, it ends up in a row. Just behave as a friend would, be caring, polite and cool. he may wonder why you are like that, and it should peak his interest. Just say you are sorting out stuff in your life and you feel fine and then just ask him, that when the time is right perhaps we could meet up for lunch, as it will look less like a date and not scare him, say it would be nice to meet and have a laugh.

    He is only angry with you since you as you are not leaving him get on with things.




    Just get busy, planning some stuff for yourself. Such as learning a new language, joining a group or starting a new hobby or interest. Go out with friends and keep busy. Just wait till he contacts you.

    • Thanks for your reply. I'm sure if you have been there like me its the most awful situation of which you have no control. May I ask, did your ex ever contact you in the end. I hate social networking in relationships but I deleted him off my fb because it was too painful to see what he was doing etc, and now he blocked me! He text me to say that it was because I deleted him as a friend. I explained my actions and he did not reply. It just seems like one upmanship.

    • Yes my ex has contacted me since and we chat online everyday and text as well, but this is the thing, he has moved on and has been dating since me. He dated rather quickly after he dumped me. It didn't last and then he had another girl friend and that didn't last either. He is now seeing someone else, but he is treating the relationship, the way he treated me, and it hurts like hell,. to hear about stuff like this, this is the only downfall being 'friends' with an ex.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You need to move on and SHOW him that you have other options besides him. Dont text him or call him for days... dont visit him or communicate with him in any way. If he wants you, he will crawl back to you. If he doesn't, then he will move on. It seems to me that he knows you will hang around waiting for him, as he can go play the field. So are you going to be the desperate girl waiting on a guy you couldn't hook after 4 years of living with him... or are you going to move on with your life to find your happiness? You have wasted 4 years in this relationship... dont waste any more!!!

  • it is 11 months later. any update? did you get back with him? did you get a job? etc etc

  • You want the brutal truth? If not, STOP reading.

    ok then:

    You are needy, and he's tired of carry around your sorry ass.

    Probably you don't have a job, and spend all your day on FB or other stupid thing while he was working to pay the apartment, and put food in your mouth. Hence why you have to live now with a relative. All this time you wondering, "why he does not love me anymore", "why is he so angry?"...well because he got tired of you.


    Dont kill the messenger. Go and ask him and you will see its true, you will see it on his face as you open your mouth. Because finally you got a clue. Woman-up

    Now, since you read up to here, its true, if you push him away and stop contacting him, he will look for you after a while. Basically he will give you another go at it, but things will be the same, unless you change the princess attitude.


    • Wow, actually your right, I live in england and I was unhappy where we lived, just graduated from university and jobless but I couldn't find anything in my field there. a constant source of annoyance to him. The thing is he is talking to another fling he had years before me online now. I have been cut off completely- she looks the image of me too. I don't know if I have blown it forever, and yes we lived in an apartment spot on! Are you talking from experience it sounds like it?

What Girls Said 7

  • STOP Calling him STOP Texting Him, this will only wind him up further and further. You are acting needy and desperate and men hate this. You just becoming his personal stalker and this will not attract him back to you. I made the same mistake.

    The best thing you can and do I have now read loads of "get your ex back" type E-books. Is to

    1. Tell him you agree with the break up and that his right you both need some space right now

    2. DO NOT contact him for at least 30 days. (no email, no text, no call)

    3. Wait, he will come back to you, he will being thinking why isn't she calling me, what's so great in her life.

    4. In this time look after you, get down the gym, see mates, go out, look your best.

    5. In 30 days time - you have to wait...then you can contact him. (text him this) Tell him you have been having the time of your life and you want to thank him for everything, when things happen they happen for a reason, tell him your life is so exciting right now and you'd love to tell him about it sometime.

    6. he will go crazy wondering why your so happy, then let him persue you. Don't answer straight away to his calls or texts.

    7. When we chase them we are pushing them away, we need to pull back and let them chase us.

    Thats just my 2 pence worth of advice from the many e-books I've read.

    I recently posted something on my facebook, my ex saw...saying I'm so happy right now, because. He text me wanting to know why...I have just left him hanging so he thinks maybe I have moved on.

    "The person who cares least own the relationship" keep this in mind.

  • im going through the same thing right now me and my boyfriend of a year broke up saying that its not working right now. I also disagreed and all I wanted was him. I have been begging him for days to take me back and talk to me but he keeps saying he needs space. I have also hit rock bottom grieving over him. he has started to get angry about my texts saying he wants space and y am I texting him when I know texting him makes him mad. I asked if he would talk to me again and he said in about a month my birthday is in about 3 weeks so I also disagreed with this and now he is saying that he is done because I can't listen but all I do is love him. I think I might of lost him but I know we both loved each other and wanted to get married before we broke up and he still cares for me I think it might be the same as the other girl commented and he is probably only being angry and cold because he is mad at me for texting him so much and not giving him the space he needs. I'm going to take the other persons advise and move on for now and hopeally he comes back

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