Acting like nothing happened in front of my ex?

[calisymphonia]

I heard that the best 'revenge' is to act like nothing happened in front of my ex. But I can't do that. I just don't want to talk to him at all.

I haven't seen him since the breakup but I won't be able to stand the sight of him. I don't want to have anything to do with him. So I can't talk like nothing happened. I can't act all cool like it didn't tear me up. It's already been 2 months but I tear up every night. When I imagine bumping into him, I feel like throwing up if I try to act like nothing happened. The best I can do is to just say "hi" if he says something and say "I don't feel like talking" if he asks questions. But is that alright? Would he get some sort of satisfaction, like "awww, she's hurting. how sweet"? Is there a reason why I have to act like nothing happened...?

[sarahd]

I think the better advice is that "the best revenge is living well". And if you're living well, secure in who you are, it won't bother you as much to be around your ex. So if you know you can't stand to be around him then that's a sign you shouldn't-you need to heal. And unfortunately you won't know how healed you are until you test the waters of socializing around him again-way in the future.

I think it's totally acceptable to tell him you don't want to talk when he tries to start a convo with you. You are communicating what you are/aren't comfortable with and doing it politely. Anything less (like flipping him the bird) would just make it more dramatic and emotionally charged for both of you.

Last, don't worry about what he is/isn't thinking about your reaction to him. You don't know what's going on in his head anyway, so why make guesses. If he wants to puff up his chest with pride because you're hurting then he has immature validation issues. If he gets angry that you won't talk to him-tough. He gave up the right to have access to you in his life when he dumped you. If he says he just really cares about you and wants to know that you'll be okay let him know you have other resources that are more reliable to draw from. His decision, his consequences. It doesn't mean you should try and punish him by withdrawing from contact with him-this just isn't about HIM anymore. It's about YOU. And you want to be happy, healthy and well. Good luck

[precious144]

Ignore him. Don't be too mean about it, like don't give him dirty looks etc.

I personally think the best revenge is pretending you don't even know them anymore...that hurts more. My ex told me it really hurt him when I used to blank him whenever I saw him. I suppose it depends on what you want to do, whether you want to get back together or not I guess?

[Anonymous]

Don't talk to him much and avoid him, but if you have to be around him act like you don't know him but don't be too obvious and awkward.

Just be cool and aloof toward him. Always be too busy and disinterested for him

[Enuflogic]

Guys can sometimes be real a-holes (speaking from experience). Some of us for no reason will take some satisfaction in the ego boost we receive when we know an ex is hurting when we see them. It all depends on your ex and what type of a person he is. Your best bet would be to avoid putting yourself in that situation until you are ready to handle it. If you find yourself in the situation where you will run into him, then handle it how ever you feel you can. If that happens to be with a short conversation consisting of "Hi, I'm sorry but I just really can't have a conversation with you right now.", then that's what it can be. What you should do is get yourself a little ego boost if you know you will be seeing him. I'm sure your a little down because of the break-up but a little boost before you see him will do wonders.

[DMenn]

No, you don't have to act like nothing happened. You don't even have to talk too him. Obviously there is some deep seeded hurt and pain there and feeling the way you do is natural. Lord knows my ex feels the same way about me. I'd avoid him completely and don't go out alone if you can help it. A friend can be good in the respect that they can prevent him from contacting you directly face to face.

[Anonymous]

If it's possible, I avoid him. If I have to, I say HI and move on :)