Is it too late to win her back?
I am an idiot. An absolute idiot and I think I've probably blown it. I'm a coward. I admit it. I don't deserve someone as good as her. I just don't think now I've had her I could ever fall in love again.
Long story short:
University begins. My girlfriend of 2 years moves to Slovakia (1,097 miles away from where I go) I get into a heap of financial trouble and trouble with a major student landlord agency. I struggle to adapt to uni life. My girlfriend and I start to have frequent arguments over skype which is our only means of contact. I hate my course. Stress levels are incredibly high. I start to get suspicious of my girlfriend off in Slovakia. Advice from this site tells me she will cheat on me. Friends tell me I should break up because of the distance, I could get other girls. I start to get thoughts about cheating which I'd never had before (and never once acted on). I start to think because of arguments and cheating thoughts I don't love her as much as I used to. Stress, confusion about life direction, worried about cheating (I would rather break up than cheat...) etc etc I break up.
I know my girl though, way better than anyone else. I thought it was over and I could deal with it. If I gave her any idea or doubt in her mind that would lead her to think we could get back together then she would hold onto that and never move on, never get over me. So I broke her heart for her own good. But now I can't deal without being with her. The distance made it hard before and I honestly was a coward and didn't think I was strong enough which was another reason. Now my life just seems to keep going further downhill everyday. I have lost all sense of direction and cannot see the point in anything. I'm depressed and never felt so alone in my life.
Life has come to this breaking point for me. I'm going to have to move on or win her back before I can do anything else. A couple of weeks ago we started talking again. Just now and again on MSN. The way she talked still reminded me so much about us. And a couple of days ago she told me she'd basically got a FWB there. She told me it was nice just to be able to cuddle in bed, hold hands and play together. It killed me. I'm not totally innocent either. I had a one night stand (I thought it would be more since she gave me her contact details). I was affectionate. I tried to make it more than it was. I was new to it. And after my girl told me about her feeling nice about being able to just hold hands or whatever, I realized how this girl I slept with, I didn't really feel anything. I don't feel anything for any other girls now. Girls I might have thought about cheating with, now I feel nothing for. Everything has led to the realization that, I still love her as much as I always have and always think I will.
I don't need any advice as to how to win her back, if I do it will be another question,
All I want to know is
Is it too late to win her back?
What's Your Opinion?
What Girls Said 1
its not too late, you clearly both have feelings for each other. But the thing is, the relationship isn't going to be the same even if you were to reunite. She has been with other people, and so have you, there would be issues over that at some point, I'm sure. Also, because of the distance you may never feel like you have fully sorted things out, unless you could see eachother.
My suggestion would be to keep up communication, a friendship, to rebuild your trust for one another. Organise for a time in the future where you will meet up, and if both of you are interested, perhaps roconcile the relationship. If there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that both of you are focused on then it will make getting back together a lot easier, instead of feeling like your headed nowhere. There is no point in getting back together now, when you still have the distance, and issues like paranoia and jealousy getting in the way of your future.
If need be, have a don't ask don't tell policy. Just don't talk about other people your seeing, at least until you can see each other in person and have a proper roconciliation and relationship, until then just try and maintain a friendship with her.
What Guys Said 1
Being completetly idiot and blown away something is one thing and having some strong gut feeling and acting upon it is another. You had those strong feeling that the distance might make it difficult for her to be faithful. You were also having thoughts about yourself that you might also feel like cheating on her. (eventually you did).
Who knows that the FWB she has now has came to the story before you borke up or after. It may be just that the disclosure came after you broke up with her.?.
Winnign her back while you guys will still stay so far is worthless. The gut feelings (or whatever) you had about her will remain as it is and since you know she has a FWB you will never be able to trust and to be with her as affectionate as you use to be.
I am a person who strongly advocate of second chance and getting back together with ex (except if the breakup is cheating or chronic lying). But in your case I would advice of moving on.
It will hurt for sometime but you will be fine soon.