Why does my ex contact me when he's married?

[Anonymous]

I have an ex boyfriend that occasionally contacts me (maybe 3 times a year). We were together in our early twenties (now were close to 40). I have no doubt we would have stayed together but immaturity got in the way. If you've ever been with someone and you knew they were the one...that was us. He is married now and has been for a while. I am not married. I never initiate conversations simply out of respect for his wife. I mean...we were never "just friends" so I feel a little weird talking to him. His most recent contact was on Valentine's Day when he e-mailed me twice. He was asking what I was up to, why he hasn't heard from me, etc. I didn't reply. Last summer he suggested we have lunch. He says his marriage is great but I just can't help but to wonder if it's so good why he's staying in contact with me. I kind of feel like he doesn't want to lose contact with me so he checks in from time to time but I don't know. Seriously, is it just me thinking too much about this or is there something behind his behavior?

[Anonymous]

This sounds like me and my ex as well, we were together for 5 years, we've been apart for 2..and he has a GF, but just will not leave me be. He always has to have some kind of contact. Its very strange he is contacting you on V-day of all days, and suggesting lunch. Granted he wouldn't be doing anything wrong, but I don't think that it would be right. Seems like he regrets that you got away. I think my ex is going to do the same thing. That is my fear. But I agree with you , if he is happy why is he contacting you. When I found out my ex had a GF, he didn't tell me I found out 6 months later, after he had been in contact the whole time! I asked was he happy, he said for the "most part"...so I couldn't understand why he would need to talk to me then! But after I let him in a little more, he told me he didn't know what he got himself into & how everything was screwed up. But he wouldn't leave her, so I cut him off. Maybe you made him feel a certain way, that he's never had with his wife, and he can't let it go. I know my ex told me he couldn't talk to anyone like he talked to me. We were very comfortable with each other. In ALL ways. Maybe he's never had a bond like the 2 of you had. Or is marriage maybe on the rocks & he wants to see what options could be out there if he was to leave. Ya never know with guys, its hard to say. I think its sad that you all couldn't work it out knowing you were good together. I think its great you have respect for his wife. He misses you in his life for sure, but why is the question. I don't think your overthinking it, SOMETHING is behind this behavior. Keep us updated! =)

[primitive]

damn; I feel like I'm reading something ill be writing 20yr from now about me ex that I date for 6 years and just recently broke up.

my guess would be that if he's a good guy and is just checking up on you because he genuinely cares about you then by all means keep contact with him.

but judging from what you wrote it sounds more complicated;he shouldn't be contacting you on V-day of all days out of the year...

my advice is to just keep him as a friend but if that's too much for you then change all your contacts and forget about his married butt.

[diva_imagine]

i am reading it after 3 mnts and you know it is happening to me now every word you wrote looks as if I m writintg now.

[primitive]

so I was right :) ?

[Sue25]

I'm in a situation where I met up with my ex 44 years ago, he was the first boy I ever kissed. He is also married, I got in touch with him 2 years ago and he was quite happy to speak with me on the phone, what surprised me most is that he wanted to meet up, when he text me he said he was on his way - that actually blew me away as I wasn't expecting it. We still get on really well, but whenever we do meet it gets quite physical and it's him that initiated it. He doesn't speak much of his wife and I don't ask him. I have no idea if anything will happen as he keeps changing his mind! So I'm just going with the flow

[DirtyDlish]

duh he loves you

[LikoMing]

Or wants sex. If he doesn't say "I love you" why think he's contacting you out of love? He's horny. For the booty. After he "SCORES" he's back to mentally and emotionally abusing ya. Interacting with an ex is like a game of chess. I'm gonna leave it at that. Also (they're your 'EX' for a reason—never forget that!)🍉

[Sue25]

@LikoMing
Maybe he does just want me for sex, but the reason we split was because I moved away, we did see each other on and off and we just eventually went our separate ways

[Sue25]

Do you honesty think so? I thought that but have been pushing it out of my mind, he knows I'm in love with him

[Anonymous]

He still likes you