Does an open relationship work?

I have been with my boyfriend for over three years now, and I am absolutely in love with him. However, recently I realized that I would like to pursue the attention I've been getting from other guys (which is a lot since I'm a pretty girl working in a male-dominated field).

I believe my boyfriend and I could have a long happy marriage with kids and a house and the whole thing, but at the same time I feel that I could never be truly happy without ever having explored other options (we're high school sweethearts now in university, aka I've never dated).

We've talked about it, and after many tears from me and some angry words from him, we've decided on an open relationship, here meaning we are still a couple but we are free to see other people. This works great for me except that I know he hates it, and it makes me feel terrible because I want him to be happy.

So what I want to know is, can an open relationship work, and when do I stop feeling like such a b****?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, this relationship is pretty doomed. He wants you and you don't want him. Period. End of sentence. You want to see other guys because the prospect of seeing them is more intersting to you then staying with this guy. "Open relationship" is just code for he'll stay at home and be depressed, while you go out and eventually hook up with another guy. And the relationship will "close" once you've found someone you're into.

    • Turns out that's exactly what happened. I knew that too, but I guess I just didn't want to admit it to myself.

    • So you've got a new guy now? How's that going?

What Guys Said 5

  • Haha, just reading that and thinking of my girl made me feel really... sick

  • open relationships are just stupid..cuz its not a relationship at all, your just a repeated hookup. he's obvs not happy with it, so its gunna go to sh*t eventualy, probs not taking too long. and if your so absolutely in love with him, why do you need to go bang other guys? doesn't make much sense to me

  • Well, I'll answer your question truthfully: I don't know if one would work or not, because I still have yet to get my very first relationship.

  • You can have your cake and eat it to ;0) all women deserve that and your boyfriend should be faithful to you.. Date a cuckold..


What Girls Said 5

  • It only has the possibility of working if both people are truly open, and okay with the idea. He isn't okay with the idea, but he wants to appease you. He's not going to be happy in this set up, and this all will come crumbling down in due time. If you don't feel like you could be happy settling down without going out and seeing what else is out there, then you need to break it off with him. I have a feeling this is going to hurt him in the long run, if it hasn't already. Everyone has that feeling of what else is there when you've been with someone for so long from a young age. But let me tell you, if you have a good guy right there.. the grass is never greener on the other side. If you just want to run around and f*** other people, that's your prerogative, but you need to let your Boyfriend go first.

    It just isn't going to work if he's not diggin' the idea, and you could potentially destroy anything and everything you have with him right now if you continue with this idea while he opposes it.

    • relationships require the same shared vision/great communication. Without won't work.

      If you can have the former (perfect open relationship) can be a rewarding/fun relationship -- I've seen so many happy couples...

  • it doesn't sound like a good idea to me. Most likely your relationship with your boyfriend will get ruined. I don't think it will last that long.

  • You will stop feeling like a bitch when you stop being one. You have asked him to do something that is KILLING him inside. What a mean request. If you want to pursue other options, break up with him. And as for you being a pretty girl, people will see through your looks right to your ugly personality and the attention will only end up being from d***faces who don't mind a bobble headed girl like you.

  • If you are not willing to appreciate your boyfriend and be 100% faithful to him then hand him over to someone who will. You can't have your cake and eat it to.

  • not a good idea... at all.