If you were the dumper and went back to your ex, what were your reasons for going back?

OK, so you break up with your ex. You guys said your goodbyes and then you both just move on and never contact each other again. Let's say...u tell them that they hurt you so much that you know you will never be with them again.

But...someday, you go back! And you want to be with them again. What reasons would make you go back, especially if you have been dating other people and you were seemingly happy?

Examples...is it Because you can't get anybody else, or you find out they are with someone, or you truly realize that you love them etc.?

I'm more interested in knowing about dumpers that went back to the ex after months or even years, but any info is welcome.

P.s- and yes, I'm still holding on to a little hope of my ex coming back, but I'm still trying to move on. It's been 5 months, and 2.5 months of no contact


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just because people date others...and "seem" happy...def does not mean their happy. Obviously if they were truly happy with that new person, they wouldn't have come back. I think usually if they come back it is because they truly love that person & theyve spent some time away from them only to realize they actually do want that person in their life. My ex who dumped me, tried to come back around after almost a year, but at the time I was interested in someone new & wanted to see what he had to offer. After 8 months with the new guy, I realized maybe I was just seeing him as a rebound or to replace my ex...which isn't possible. I liked him for other reasons, but I think I was looking for that love/bond that I shared with my ex..which isn't going to be there automatically with someone new. Me & the new guy kinda went our own ways, it never got serious. My ex came back around & we got very close, so close I was just waiting for him to ask me out...after a month of him textin me through out the days, textin me gnite/gmorn, callin me, talkin on webcam...I found out through a mutual friend he had a GF. Who he had been seeing for about 6/7 months. I couldn't believe he didn't tell me! He cried & begged me not to hate him, said he didn't know what to do because he thought I moved on & he was only with her because he got lonely. He explain how it wasn't what I thought & it wasn't the same as what we had. I could tell something was wrong in his relationship, I know him well after being with him for 5 yrs. I can sense he's not fully happy. He even told me he didn't know what he got himself into..I gave him 2 months to fig out what he wanted..he didn't leave her or have answers for me. Sooo I walked away COMPLETELY. This will be the first time in 2 years since we've been apart & 9 years since we've known each other, that's been NC. Its tough. I know your hurting, I do believe in 2nd chances. Most of the people on this site dont...but I know what we had was love, we just needed to work on our relationship. I think we both quesitoned it & decided to explore on our own. I didn't meant to explain so much, I just wanted to point out that people aren't always happy when they date others...example I wasn't when I dated the new guy..& he isn't with her (or else he wouldn't have been contacting me all the time & getting close) I think its up to him to fig his situation out on his own & Only time will tell what's meant to be. Keep your head up! Don't wait, but never give up hope! Best Wishes to you!

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      thank you so much. I do agree that sometimes people that seem happy aren't. The last time I spoke with my ex he said that he was much happier without me in his life and that he knows he can never be with me again. He said this very calmly over the phone. I tried to get him back up until that point and nothing I said or did worked. I feel like me leaving him alone is admitting that I never loved him, and I feel that I shouldn't give up, yet I don't want to hurt more by having contact with him.

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      I know you probably think "y the hell would you want to be with this guy?" I wonder the same thing sometimes. But he also was very sweet too. And I loved him. I just miss him so much.

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      I loved your story, mine is almost exactly alike, except we were only together 3 years and it was only 3 weeks ago when we stopped talking. I was just as shocked when I found out and incredibly angry still but I hope that will fade. I think now, when he's completely gone, do I wish I accepted his offer to be with him, but that's life and there was a reason I didn't.