My husband cheated on me with a stripper while he was on a business trip.

He says he got talked into to and doesn't know why he didn't and wishes it had never happened and that he loves me and our children and wants to be... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • Hon, I am so sorry for your pain. It is hell for sure. It is something you will have to live with forever. Your husband will never know what he has done to you or your marriage. Trust is everything, and he has destroyed it for now. But make no mistake, nobody, hear me, nobody talked your husband into having sex with the stripper. He did it, he needs to own his adultery, plain & simple. If he doesn't, your marriage won't survive.

    By blaming others for his behavior he isn't taking responsibility for his actions. If he doesn't man-up and tell you the truth, how can you believe him at all? An opportunity presented itself, he wanted it, he took it. Why did he want it? Did he want more sex? Need different kinds of sex? Ask him. What was missing. These are good questions for therapy. But do not let him off the hook. He knows the answer the question...why he did this. And be assured, no one talked him into it.

    And of course you still love him. You didn't do anything to stop loving him. You can forgive him, but lady, never forget. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Has he been on trips before? Has he cheated before? Did he tell you now because someone was going to tell you what he did on this trip? Ask.

    And get yourself tested. NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS. GET YOURSELF TESTED. If he was drunk, he may not have been wearing a condom. KEEP YOURSELF HEALTHY.

    I feel for you. I may not have been in your exact situation, but I do know the pain. You need to be cautious here. This will take a long time to rebuild the trust. If he's just going to therapy because you asked, you'll quickly know. I suspect there are a lot of communication issues with him. Be careful & don't let him blame you. You are not at fault here. Make sure your therapist specializes in this.

    Good luck sister.

    • this really helped me out alot. I told him when he told me that no one can talk into doing anything you don't already want to do your self. he still says he doesn't know why this happened. he says he has never done anything like this ever and that he will never do it again. I want to believe him I just don't know what to do.

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    • You are welcome. I ran out of room. I wanted to tell you, no matter what you do, you can get through this. Be strong. The hurt never goes away, sorry to say. You can never understand it, how someone you love can hurt hurt you like this. It is gut wrenching, I don't have to tell you. But you can get through it, one way or another, together or alone. Be strong. Be in charge of yourself & the situation. Think, do not let him control it. You are a strong woman. I know you are.Talk 2 me anytime.

    • Thank you so much!