He says he got talked into to and doesn't know why he didn't and wishes it had never happened and that he loves me and our children and wants to be with me. I just don't understand how this could happen. How do just let something like that happen and not know why. He has broken my heart, but for... Show More
Most Helpful Girl
Hon, I am so sorry for your pain. It is hell for sure. It is something you will have to live with forever. Your husband will never know what he has done to you or your marriage. Trust is everything, and he has destroyed it for now. But make no mistake, nobody, hear me, nobody talked your husband into having sex with the stripper. He did it, he needs to own his adultery, plain & simple. If he doesn't, your marriage won't survive.
By blaming others for his behavior he isn't taking responsibility for his actions. If he doesn't man-up and tell you the truth, how can you believe him at all? An opportunity presented itself, he wanted it, he took it. Why did he want it? Did he want more sex? Need different kinds of sex? Ask him. What was missing. These are good questions for therapy. But do not let him off the hook. He knows the answer the question...why he did this. And be assured, no one talked him into it.
And of course you still love him. You didn't do anything to stop loving him. You can forgive him, but lady, never forget. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Has he been on trips before? Has he cheated before? Did he tell you now because someone was going to tell you what he did on this trip? Ask.
And get yourself tested. NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS. GET YOURSELF TESTED. If he was drunk, he may not have been wearing a condom. KEEP YOURSELF HEALTHY.
I feel for you. I may not have been in your exact situation, but I do know the pain. You need to be cautious here. This will take a long time to rebuild the trust. If he's just going to therapy because you asked, you'll quickly know. I suspect there are a lot of communication issues with him. Be careful & don't let him blame you. You are not at fault here. Make sure your therapist specializes in this.
Good luck sister.