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What Guys Said 2
She basically likes, being liked. She feeds off of you and how you are still attracted to her. She's doing this and you are letting her. Wanna know how she really feels? Don't tell her anything and cut her out of your life. Change your number if you have to, but know that you are doing this because she has to much control over you. You are becoming emotionally clingy. You need to regain control. Ditch her to save yourself (at least this is what you have to tell yourself). When you disappear on her she will either let you go or continue to pop back in and out of your life. Stop letting her. Take action, accept that you are making a long term goal and work harder at moving on from this girl. I bet she has some great qualities that keeps you attracted but if she is willing to keep a secret for five months to you (and probably from her boyfriend too), could you really trust her?
She doesn't care about your feelings. Just flat out tell her to stop contacting you, and get over her. If she tries to contact you - ignore her. You're just as much at fault as she is at this point, because you let her manipulate you like this. It's been 3.5 years - well past time to move on. Especially for a relationship that lasted only 5 months.