Why won't my ex girlfriend let me go?

Hi. My ex broke up with me 3 1/2 years ago, after being together for 5 months. Since then I have tried to get back with her twice. Both times ended with me in tears. I said I didn't want be friends as it hurt to much. But she has always contacted me playing games and trying to be friends. I really love her and think about her every day.

Recently we started chatting on msn, her idea. She's in another country now. She said she was single and we were getting on really well talking 1-2 times a week for an hour or so. She was flirty and was giving me hope. Then it turns out she has had a boyfriend for 5 months,and lives with him. I was shocked she never told me for 5 months!. She knows I love her and don't want to be friends. So my question is why does she do this, she says she loves me as a friend but only hurts me. Why does she have a hard time letting me go? Does she just care about me, or likes being in control of me? I am going to tell her soon that I don't want no more contact, this will be the 3rd time I have asked her to leave me alone. I have been weak but she is very manipulative. Thanks for all comments.

 

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  • She basically likes, being liked. She feeds off of you and how you are still attracted to her. She's doing this and you are letting her. Wanna know how she really feels? Don't tell her anything and cut her out of your life. Change your number if you have to, but know that you are doing this because she has to much control over you. You are becoming emotionally clingy. You need to regain control. Ditch her to save yourself (at least this is what you have to tell yourself). When you disappear on her she will either let you go or continue to pop back in and out of your life. Stop letting her. Take action, accept that you are making a long term goal and work harder at moving on from this girl. I bet she has some great qualities that keeps you attracted but if she is willing to keep a secret for five months to you (and probably from her boyfriend too), could you really trust her?

    • Your right. I have been weak. She really knows how to work me. I talked to her for the first time in 4 weeks on msn, since she said she had a boyfriend. the first things she said was " I was just thinking about you" I have decided to cut all contact. thing is she owes me 200 pounds that she tricked me into lending her. I asked her to transfer from her bank to mine. she said was complicated and that she comin to england this year and give to me then. all lies, I don't believe a word she says now

  • She doesn't care about your feelings. Just flat out tell her to stop contacting you, and get over her. If she tries to contact you - ignore her. You're just as much at fault as she is at this point, because you let her manipulate you like this. It's been 3.5 years - well past time to move on. Especially for a relationship that lasted only 5 months.

    • I find it very hard to get over her. I have had other girls since but she just does it for me. I have told her to stop contacting me before. she just always manages to get me to talk to her. I really hate her. I ain't as much to blame, I might be a mug, but she was very very clever the way she went about things, also I was 21 and she was 26 so she should of been more grown up. I really thought she wanted to get back with me. but your right its time to move on. thanks for the comments.

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