My ex-boyfriend acts like my boyfriend even though he doesn't want to be with me. Why?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I never gave each other a "break". We remained very close for 2 years after we broke up, and then of course he began dating someone else. I was very jealous, and obviously uncomfortable. I told him many times he was misleading. He used the typical "you are the most important woman in my life, but I don't want to be with you" or "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you". I've grown to accept the fact that he doesn't want to be with me, but I still cannot for the life me understand why he is so preoccupied, and why is he always there and constantly telling me that he loves me. I've asked him in the past to stop, but his answer was "I can't stop telling you that I love you because it would be lying to myself". Yes, I am still in love with him, and I am trying really hard to remove myself from that situation. How, or better yet WHY on earth is he still acting that way? He has a girlfriend (we have NOT done anything inappropriate while he has been with her) which he tells me he wants to marry, but yet he wants me in his life.

Please help.

[Kickrockslosers]

He doesn't really care about you. If he wanted to be with you he would be with you. He's playing games and keeping you around for his own self interest. What better to have then some love sick girl waiting around for him at his beck and call.

GROW SOME and kick that loser to the curb! You deserve someone who cares about you and doesn't use you. Feeding you bullshit is the better way to keep you around and keeping other guys away from you. Good guys, hot guys, guys with respect for you and morals.

WAKE UP! You are not the most important woman in his life and he does not want to be with you for anything other than what he gets from you (whatever that is). He may love you like you love a pair of shoes, but nothing more than that. He's playing with your head. No one can play with your head or heart unless you let them. This is not going anywhere. Guys are real simple and not complicated like girls. If they say they don't want to be with you then believe it. They only lie to cheat or because they got caught cheating. He's just a loser and that's all.

KickRocksLosers!

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer. This is a very complicated situation because I don't want to harm this girl, and I have done nothing that is not appropiate. I'm a woman above all, and I wouldn't want to do that to anyone else. As far as he is concerned, I'm really not sure what he wants. The minute I begin ignoring him, he changes, and it's all tears, and missing me. On the other hand, he isn't getting anything economically, or "special" treatment and I'm sure you know what I mean.

[Kickrockslosers]

It doesn't have 2be financial, or sexual. Some guys get off on the attention they get from a woman. Some guys are sick bastards who just like to manipulate women because it makes them feel important. To him, it may just be a game 2see how many times you will come back. I have tons of guy friends&I see the games they play w/women. They tell me about my boyfriends &why they behaved badly or need me 2be w/them. It's always self serving when they keep coming back. Not love, not confusion just games.

[forever]

SELFISH. Who cares about what he wants, what do you want girl? Words are just words, but where is the action that show you that he actually love you? What kind of love anyway he has towards you? Love for the fact that you always be there for him when he needs to not because he loves you for you and want to spend the rest of his life with you? If he constantly saying I love you and it bothers you, ask him to at least keep it to himself since you already know that he loves you. Say thank you and I believe you for now. That's it, I think he will stop.

I really think that you should remove yourself from him since he has a girlfriend and you cannot help how you feeling towards him. Do yourself a favour, withdraw from him for some time. You need time alone to get over him and maybe after you can be friends again. Btw, if he doesn't let you go, you can ignore his calls etc. NEVER GIVE IN since it will be your disadvantage.

[Asker]

Tks for your answer!! I'm trying really hard to ignore him, and remove myself from the situation. A lot of people have told me he doesn't know what he wants, but it shouldn't really matter to me.

Thank you!

[SLL2019]

it kinda sounds like he is keeping you on the side lines just in case the relationship he is in doesn't work out,. Quit talking to him. He doesn't deserve the right to keep you hanging on a thread and keep you hoping he'll come back. You are his safety net... and no one wants or deserves to be a safety net unless you let him even though you know... he's playing you. He wants you there in case he needs someone to talk to late at night or a booty call. He loves that you are still hanging on. Quit talking to him and he'll freak out cause his safety is gone... don';t let him do that to you. you deserve better

[kmunt23]

lol, sorry but this guy is playing you for a fool. This is happening because you are his safety blanket. He keeps you around just in case he may need to get laid or have someone get him out trouble. fact is, if he is telling you all of this yet is with other girls, then he is full of shit and you need to get away from him all together. He is keeping you in mental limbo therefore your not able to move on. If you want to be with this guy, you need to be straight forward and tell him. If he turns you down, then cut the cord and have zero involvement with this person ever again.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer. I've thought about taking that course of action....it's just difficult. Either way, I ended the friendship. It's absurd.

[Midwestbeauty444]

Whatif your in a situation SIMILAR to this? like it's almost the same. my ex brokeup with me..for his job responsibilities and he can't handle being wit a girlfriend too but he doesn't have anyone else...but keeps contacting me!wth and I miss him

[Shack]

He is kind apilt in between you and his girl.I would have love if you could let him know how that hurts youWhy don't you tell me you want to get a boyfriend and kso he should decide where he is and so you can know whether he is urs or not.Just let him kno you need more than some one telling you that he loves you everyday.let him know you want to move on to enjoy a more promising relationship than what he is doing cos it's a total stress and nothing.

[Asker]

Tks! for your answer... I tried telling him that I want to move on, I've tried everything....he just doesn't let me go..... I feel he wants his cake and eat it too....he has been a great support, but at the same time he is crushing me. Yeah, we are "best friends" but even best friends have limtis... anyways, I'll try being firm this time, and just make it clear to him that he can't be a part of my life.

[fashonista-3000]

well maybe he still has feelings for you but. he don't want to go through the arguing and blah stuff yall went through so trust me I have been on and off with my ex for 2 years now and he was dointg the dame thing but he came out and told me that he really loved me and he did that because he was scared to lose me. so I mean you just have to give him time you kno he will come through.

[Asker]

Tks.. I've waited for that for a while now. I just feel it won't happen.

[raz0rblastz]

he's trying to keep you as a safety net in case the girl he's with doesn't work out.dump him.he telling you this things is jus to keep you by his side and nothing more.u seem to be the really understanding type so use ur logic and u'll come to this conclusion too

[xxHangingOnxx]

He still wants you.It seems.

But then again, most guys don't know what they want until it's too late.

I wouldn't give him another chance. I'm the same with my ex. Except, I gave him 3 chances; Only I blew the 3rd one. Just trust me, Don't do it. You may not regret it right away (if you agreed to him), but you will after a bit. And call yourself stupid for getting into it. And well, you'll just get crushed.

[Anonymous]

He probably does love you and have some strong feelings about you. But there must have been something about the relationship you had before that was making him unhappy.

[Asker]

Yes, there were things making us unhappy, but he was never willing to work on it. He told me he would never change, but he wants to stay around either way......

Tks!

[padfoot]

hey.this is just absurd okay.it's mad.if he's with someone then let he be with her alone.u find gotta find someone else for sure.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer. I'm not the one looking for him...it was him looking for me...either way. I ended all ties......

It was the best thing to do.

[Arfoo]

Have you guys had sex?

[Asker]

We did after we broke up, but not while he's been with this girl. He never tried anything, and neither did I... but he is always there showing he cares. I've been a pain, but it's because I'm confused by him. I'm never sure what he wants.

Tks..