My ex is such a liar!

[Anonymous]

So my ex broke up with me in September stating that he didn't feel the same way about me. But about a month before that I noticed he was spending a lot of time talking to this girl and he had even lied to me a few times about going to see her. When we broke up I was convinced it was because he wanted to be with her but he told me he didn't want to see anyone else until we were both over the break up. But I knew that he lied to his ex about being with me so I didn't believe him.

I was so mad at him because I knew he had lied about her before and has a history of lying to his ex girlfriends about new girls in his life. I decided I just needed to forget about them both and move on with my life but now he is trying to get closer to me and treating me like he did when we were first together.

However, recently some photos of him and this girl together on dates has surfaced and I don't know what to do about it. I've noticed that he has deleted her from his msn list, but she still talks to him and see the photos of them together brought back all the anger I had about him lying to me. I don't want to drive him away because of this, but I need to be able to trust him. Should I ask him about her and see if he will tell me the truth now, or should I just try to forget about it?

[Simple-Simonette]

Why would you be afraid of driving him away with his own bad behavior? There is no excuse for betrayals, and letting him think his lying is acceptable will only make him think it is ok. You're angry for a reason, don't cool it by making excuses for him - he needs to own up to his lies. If doing that causes you to lose him - what difference would it really make? He left you already, and in the future would leave you again. That's what happens when you let people misbehave with no consequences - they start to believe themselves it's ok.

If you fall for his spiel, you know exactly what your getting into - a relationship where suspicion would reign. You'll question every move, every girl he talks to, every email he receives, every phone call he takes - you'll spend the whole time looking for a lie or waiting to catch him lying. And in the end it will drive you both apart. You need to forget him and think about why you're willing to be with someone you didn't trust. Having that constant stress can't be worth just having a man.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

should talk to him about it, nothing to lose, but if you two are not together and it was bad when you broke it off, cut off ties completely.

if you do talk about it, don't get mad, just cooly ask him and w/e. you can use it as a test of his integrity and see if he passes.

so if he has a history of lying, I doubt this guy will change in such a short amount of time, I bet you he'll just lie again and w/e, you know you can fully move on then. I can't stand liars either.

[LishaJones]

If he has a history of lying then he will always lie.

[Asker]

I know, he really only lies about girls to save my feelings but the point is I knew the whole time anyway and what really upset me was that he lied.

[raz0rblastz]

confront him.if not u'll have no peace throughout the whole relationship.and the worse thing is that trust is the core of every relationship and without it there's no point.but you did take him back after he tried to cheat on u.thats admirable.but I would think its like keeping a wolf for a pet.

[Asker]

I wouldn't say we are back together, we both don't really know how we feel. I am willing to work on things, but if he doesn't want to should I still confront him about it? I know she was probably a rebound girl and I don't know if knowing the details will give me peace or make me more upset.

[raz0rblastz]

So ur not together and he's still not willingly to work on it...in that case dun go for it...he's not worth it..sounds like a player to me

[Asker]

I don't know if he is willing to work things out... he says he needs time to see how things play out and that we should spend the holidays together and enjoy them together, so I am thinking he wants to just have sex for 2 weeks and then 'just be friends'. I have made the mistake of sleeping with him and he has been spending all his time with me so I don't know. I just don't want to ask about his other girl if its only going to make me look jealous and possibly upset me more.

[raz0rblastz]

Either way you HAVE to confront this problem you know?no point running from it..ur only giving that guy a good life...without questions asked