I feel like I'm being toyed with, emotionally. Anyone been in a similar situation care to share their story/help me with mine?

[themastaplan]

I feel like I'm being toyed with, emotionally.

Of course, by my ex girlfriend.

She will say one thing and her action is will back it up, but then other times she'll say hurtful things or things that don't make sense based on her actions...

So she'll tell me its so easy to love me and be around me, then we'll cuddle and go out together, do boyfriend/girlfriend stuff...

Then when I get attached again and open up and tell her, she'll tell me that she doesn't want to date me and I need to get over the fact that she loves me but isn't in love with me anymore, that she's too busy to think about trying right now because of all the stress in her life with work and school...then she'll go and do everything a person who is in love with someone else would do. Go out of their way to help me out when I'm busy even if she is busy, send me smiley faces with hearts attached to a text. Hang out with me whenever she has time. Call to just say hi and ask if I want to hang out an cuddle later or go on a walk and hold hands...

I've read some similar posts, tried to find my answer but I can't seem to figure this out.

What is she doing, why do her actions show so much but then when I show it back does she contradict her actions?

we both ahve seen other people, went on dates, dated, etc. Its been a little over a year since we have broken up and I'm just so confused I don't know what to do. Do I back off a little, leave things at her pace? let her decide when she needs time with me? I want to marry her, I really do, I've told her this and she usually doesn't know how to respond because of our past, which involved trust issues, communication issues, but since then we've both become more mature and know what we want. She tells me what she wants and that if we were the only two people in the world we would be perfect for each other. Is she still held in the past? is that why she is scared of the truth?

How can I get her to see the bigger picture, I know she loves me, her actions show it...but when she says she isn't in love with me, I just don't get it...seriously all her actions point towards her not wanting me to be with anyone else but her...she even told me to go see other people at the end of ourrelationship and when I did she got upset about it and said she wants me to be happy but doesn't want to see me with anyone else...i want her back, I want to show her we can work...if anyone has been through this and feel like messaging me and helping me out, please any advice will do. I'm so confused and lost...i cannot do without her in my life, I'm in love with her! (btw my ex isn't the one in my pic lol)

Updates

+1 y

btw. I don't want to just go and tell her to be with me. I'm hoping to have her realize that she wants to be with me and can't lose me. She has already told me she never wants me out of her life, but can't stand to see me with another women. What else is there to prove then? Am I handeling this wrong? I want her back!

[emily155]

If you truly want her to realize that she wants to be with you, then leave completely. That means no contact, no nothing. Drop off the face of the earth completely in her eyes. It will force her to feel the lost. HOWEVER, be warn that you need to have a lot of patience because it might take time and it can backfire on you. It can make her realize that she doesn't need you as well. Either way, you need some time to yourself and the only way to do that is to cut her off. Regardless of what might happen in the future, you need to start thinking about you now and take some time to process your thougths and emotions. It will be good for you.

[GGGGGG_unit]

she does love you but if she says she is not IN LOVE with you, she means it. there's a difference. its like she wants to keep you in her life but she doesn't want to be with you for the long run. she is still searching answers for herself. I know it doesn't sound good for her to push you away yet you still there and trust me she will not stop doing it. she's used to you being around anytime she needs you. I'm sorry but its too convenient for her you being there whenever she needs you. you have to back off a little bit and think about yourself. is this what you really want for yourself?

[themastaplan]

but why tell me she loves me but not in love with me and then when I go do me and see other people she gets upset, tells me that no one is like me and no one can make her happy like I can...i don't get it

[GGGGGG_unit]

like I said you are being too convenient for her so she gets upset every time you drift away because she is used to you being one call away whenever she needs you. she's using you as her puppet or a comforter. but she really doesn't feel the same way you do. she might say she loves you but it doesn't prove anything otherwise.

[Anonymous]

She's selfish and use you like a doormat whenever she needs to. Since she knows you're still so in love with her she knows she can do whatever she wants and call you whenever she wants a cuddle and some ego boost. Women don't respect a doormat and use rhem for their own benefit. Grow a pair and show her you can be a real man. Don't go out with her, time to time let her call you on the phone, be friendly but distant. Focus on yourself, have fun. She'll be wrapped around your finger in no time.

[themastaplan]

i do...all the time and EVERY time she gets wrapped around my finger I slowly come back. cautiuosly and then she tells me how easy it is to love me and how she misses all the things we used to do when dating and then boom...this happens

[Opinion Owner]

No she's playing you. You shouldn't tell her anything. When she blurts her stuff talk about a little but always in the past tense and don't tell her you have any emotion for her. Always redirect convo on neutral topics.

[GGGGGG_unit]

agreed.

[Prisca]

Agreed :) she's selfish and egoistic. QA you should realize that :)