What is the difference between silent treatment and no contact after breakup ?

I often hear giving your ex the silent treatment. Is that the same as n/c ?

My boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago and we have no contact completely for 8 weeks. He did not acknowledge my birthday, when I sent him email & text to wish him Merry Xmas, he did not respond. Our breakup was not overly negative, and is not we grew out of love. I first initiated the breakup due to misunderstanding, I regret it, and wanted to get back together, but he didn't want to give us a second chance. We were together for 6 years, we love each other very much, but we just cannot be together anymore, he had to let go of the relationship is more for my sake and happiness. We still have feelings for each other even though we're apart. But I just don't understand how can he be so cold to me after the breakup ? How can he acts like this to someone that he has loved for so many years ?


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  • I don't think there's any effective difference between "no contact" and "silent treatment". What matters is that he doesn't want to talk to you.

    "I just don't understand how can he be so cold to me after the breakup." He's not being cold to you. You're interpreting his behavior as cold. It's an important distinction.

    "How can he acts like this to someone that he has loved for so many years ?" Again, you're probably interpreting his behavior incorrectly: he's not acting like he does in order to irritate, hurt or offend you. He's in a lot of pain now, too, but he's handling it differently.

    In my case, I don't want to talk to a girl for a long time after a breakup. I don't want to be her friend. I don't want to be friendly. It's not because I hate her, not because I'm being cold or want to hurt her. It's how I protect myself from the hurt. Talking to her, emails from her, it can all feel like reopening a wound. Lots of guys are like this.

    I know you're in a world of pain and confusion now, but it'll get better. For your sake, stop contacting him. Each time he doesn't reply, it's an excuse to torment yourself with questions.

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      Yea I think Atomizer's answer is correct. me and my ex dated a year and didn't talk for 6 months after we broke up. we tried emailing, but it didn't work. he wanted friendship and I didn't at that time. slowly, we kinda stayed in contact every 6 months, sometimes more often then others. we finally decided to be friends and we kinda talk.

      you need to look at it the way he is. tell yourself, this break is good. go out with friends. experience single life. maybe that is what he wants? anyways, relax