When a guy says he wants to take a step back, but he doesn't want to break up, what does that mean?

my boyfriend says he wants us to take a step backwards, but he doesn't want us to break up. I'm not too sure what that means exactly. we haven't seen each other in about two weeks and we rarely talks on the phone anymore, we had plans to talk in person and then he calls and canceled at the last minute. I'm basically thinking he doesn't want to hurt me but he really wants to end it. we have been together for a year and three months, maybe he's just tired of us but not know how to tell me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, it's clear that he's unsure about something - but this could be anything: could be you (=bad gossip?), could be the two of you ('growing tired'); could be just him being insecure about himself and/or his future (with or without you). Whatever it is, he's having thoughts he's not willing to share with you right now. However, seeing the length of your relationship already, he should come clean with you on his thoughts/feelings, and if he doesn't the only way is to confront him and plain ask - but yea, you may be prepared to get hurt when he does start opening up(which is the reason why he doesn't wanna talk about it in the first place). Some guys feel suffocated when they spent too much time with their girlfriends - that's even for old ages (midlife crisis). Just saying, it could be better than it looks, but tell him how important it is for you to let you in on whatever he's thinking - and whatever it may be.


What Guys Said 3

  • Given his other behaviour it means he wants to break up. It could be that he isn't man enough to just tell you, it could be that he sincerely thinks it easier if he tells you this way. How knows?

  • It means that he wants to go out with someone else but wants you in the background just in case it doesn't work out. And, he needs to keep you for a booty call.


What Girls Said 4

  • He maybe wants to break up with you but too afraid of breaking ur heart

  • I think you answered your own question. He just dosen't want to be the bad guy. On the flip side I think he wants you as a backup...to always be around. Move on. I know it hurts but it's time.

  • Girl I think you are so right as bad and hard as that is it seems to me that he just doesn't want to be the bad guy and hurt your heart. You all have been together a while so therefore you know he cares about you lots it just that he is just not that into you , that's a great book by the way , and Its called a breakup because its broken is another and they are fantastic.Well good luck and just be straight with him and tell him what you think and see how he responds!

  • Maybe he wants to either:

    a.) Take it slower (which since yall only see e/o twice a week, you in a way, are)

    b.) Date other people, but still be together; "Open relationship"

    c.) Might be too busy, so wants to go at his pace?

    d.) doesn't want to hurt you so he says take a step backwards. A step backwards to me is friends, since that is the first step b4 dating...