Should I tell my ex I'm coming to town?

[Oldish]

I am visiting the city that my ex lives in. I haven't seen him since I left it and I broke up with him around then. I don't wish to get back together, in fact, I am meeting another potential online date there. I still talk to him amicably as friends online, though it might be odd to tell him I'll be in town when I'm not sure if I want to meet him.

[torch1]

If you think he mite try and get you back. are you don't trust him then no I wouldn't tell him. just you asking this means you don't trust him fully.

[Oldish]

I think you might have hit the nail on the spot. I do worry that he's not completely over it and I don't want to bring his hopes up if so. But worry that if I don't say I'm in town when I was it would ruin the friendship.

[Anonymous]

Why do you want to meet up with him, what's the purpose and your intentions, you must still like him

[Oldish]

Well I still have stuff stuck with him that would be cheaper if I got directly from him rather than he ships it. We are still friendly but we do not converse any more than I do with my other friends online who are from there. No I do not still like him, I like the guy that I'm seeing online.

[Opinion Owner]

how long were you with him and why did you break it off, I mean you must still have a little feelings for him

[Oldish]

It was a 2.5 years relationship. Broke it off because he wasn't in a place where we could move forward and also I realized didn't love him enough to want to stick around.

[Opinion Owner]

thats a long time, so really you left him because he wasn't going anywhere in his life and that you didn't want to wait around for him

[Oldish]

Yes, he was naive in his younger days and have lots of debt and couldn't hold a steady job. That relationship ended 2 years ago. But are you going to help me with my question?

[Opinion Owner]

well why didn't you help with debt, and your your question you should just tell him to leave your stuff at his door stuff and you should get it like that

[Oldish]

His debt was amassed during his college days and is not my responsibility until we had a commitment at the level of engagement to marry which we did not have. During the course of the relationship, I covered for many of months of his share of rent. While I don't see him as a suitable other half, I still see him as a great person, friend and even work collaborator. I'd like an amicable relationship so if it means its still gonna be weird I'll avoid meeting him and not even say I'm in town.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean what if he changed and got his debt paid, would you take him back and give him a second shot

[Oldish]

No I didn't break up with him because he had debt. It was more his unrealistic attitude towards the realities of work life that I felt made the relationship unsustainable.

[Opinion Owner]

well what if he changes and has a better attitude of the realities of work life

[Oldish]

If I didn't love him enough to stick around then, its the same now. If I got back together with him because his attitude for work changed it would hypocritical and somewhat materialistic of me.

[Oldish]

Thanks for the questions and convesation though. It helps me see how thorough I was at my initial decision. It was a tough time back then because of his situation it really tested my love for him and I struggled to really questioned my love for him. I've seen enough to know that if there isn't enough to go on, it shouldn't drag. I also think I might have met someone (the online one) who shares a lot of the same ideas as I do, though of course it remains to be seen til we meet.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh so your going to your home town to meet the ONLINE GUY, oh I see and what do you mean by it would changed Hypocritical and somewhat materialistic for you