Friends with an ex... Is it possible?
my boyfriend of two years left me because we lost our "spark" and he didn't think we could find it again and he said he never been in a real relationship other than ours before so he didn't know how else to handle it. he got a new girlfriend like 2 weeks later and he said he is in love with her. he is being stupid, I know. but I care about him and think I can handle being his friend. but what I'm wondering is...is this a bad idea? how soon is too soon and what usually happens in these kinds of situations? just give me your honest opinion.
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
Every relationship and everyone is different so there's no set rule in these cases about what USUALLY happens.
Some people move on quickly and therefore don't have problems being friends with their ex's because they simply do not have any romantic feelings for them anymore. That's pretty much the key - you can really only truly be friends with an ex if you don't have romantic feelings for them anymore. Otherwise, you're not really friends right? because you shouldn't have romantic feelings for your friends.
If you are in a position where you still feel jealous or possessive or get upset at his new girlfriend (or future new girlfriends), then you are not ready to be his friend. As a friend, you would be happy that he has found someone to make him happy.
Personally, I like to keep in contact with my ex's simply because they are special to me and were a part of my life so I like to know at the very least if they are still dead or alive. Facebook friends if you want to call it that - we don't meet up often and don't talk regularly but will say happy birthday and Merry Christmas once or twice a year and if I see they have posted pics up, then I may take a look or not. My recent breakup was to a guy who I truly loved (and still do), and therefore I need a bit space in order to try and get myself together again before I can even attempt to be friends with him.
What Guys Said 5
I wouldn't think about being friends right now. It hurts and is horrible to see the person you have strong feelings for with someone else. You won't be able to act naturally around him and will get upset seeing be a couple around you.
I tried this with my ex after 6 months (of limited contact) believing I was ready to accept just being friends. When I finally hung out with her (and her boyfriend) all my old feelings came flooding back and it was heartbreaking to see her acting the way she used to with me with someone else.
I vowed after that to stop all contact and trying to be friends. Now 6 months further down the line I feel a million times better. I think I could now meet her and handle it but I no longer need or want to. It's over and we have both moved on. I guess it's too early in your situation to know what will happen but don't rush into anything, concentrate on your own life and emotions and not his and just take each day as it comes.
So,could you please tell me how long had you got on a relationship with him?So that I can tell you whether he played a trick on you or just truly love you. I broke up with a girl because my mom didn't want me to do that, I still love her for about A YEAR since then..
What Girls Said 4
You should cut all contact with him until you have fully healed from the break up and whatever feelings you had for him are gone. Trust me its the best thing to do right now. And for him to break up with you and be in a new relationship within 2 weeks of the break up shows that he was a scumbag of a guy. You REALLY want to keep some one like that around just so he can hurt you even further?
its the worst idea if you are not over him. I will tell you why:
1) you will always live with the hope that he will come back to u..so you will not move on
2) he will treat you like a emotional crutch and a PLAN B...no matter whether he realizes this or not
3) you will just continue hurting yourself when he brings her to a get together, hang out together... when you see how they both are so into each other.
4) you will be hurt when he treats you just like any other friend after 2 years of relationship
just let it go for some time... for a few months... get over him...go date..and then you can be friends. he is not running away..is he
In my understanding and experience, remaining friends with an ex only works on rare occasions. It can work, and it worked successfully with someone I know, but they ended the boyfriend / girlfriend relationship mutually agreeing they would be quite happy to be friends. You can try, if you think that both of you would be happy to be friends, but just make sure it never gets dragged back into boyfriend and girlfriend, and you have to remind each other when it starts to.